Free Write- Sick

Not that I am complaining, actually I am. I have been sick, this year has been actually a really sick year for me, well not this year but last year, well you know what I mean. But when I was really sick this past summer, so sick that they kept me in the hospital for 8 days, I didn't get to really take time off from being a mom. You know, not that Eric didn't help out, but you just can't call in sick from being a mom, who do you call? A nursing baby still needs to be nursed, a two year old crying wants their mom to console them, a sick mom can still see messes around the house, and has the urge to clean it up. Because no matter how much I ask it doesn't always get done as quickly or as efficiently as I'd like, so I end up doing it.

We have had a sick week again at our house. I just am tired of being sick and having sick kids. They actually have been relatively healthy. The girls did have croup in December over the break which started the sickness in our home. Gregory went to the doctor yesterday and has strep. Which for me is a big concern because I had the septic strep and scarlet fever this past summer. I probably need to call my doctor to get checked. Last thing we can afford is me being sick. Heavens knows that.

Eric too went to the doctor yesterday and she told him that he shouldn't go back to work and he should go home and rest. So he does. So he gets to leave work, come home and rest. Why can't I just rest? I have been not feeling great since new years eve, probably the lack of sleep. Then he got sick and he said "I am sorry if you were feeling this bad last week." I reply, "yeah wouldn't it be nice if I could rest and get better." And he commented " well your always sick."

I am not always sick, I am tired a lot and don't feel much energy. But it made me think, you know maybe I wouldn't stay sick so long if I could actually rest for a bit. Do women ever feel better?? I am so tired and exhausted and this last week have felt pretty crummy. But no one tells me to just take it easy. How can I? Five people still need to eat dinner, one child needs to be nursed, the house some how recreates messes hourly.

I am just at my wits ends today, sorry to gripe and complain, but I am. My house is in utter caos and I can't get it back into a realm of normalcy. (J. W. s are at the door, should I go answer the door with my Book of Mormon. I think Bethany wants to answer it and I am telling her not to. I bet they love hearing that outside.) Anyway, I just need my world to come together and not be scattered across the living room, and splattered all over the kitchen.

Well I better stop my griping and get to fixing my life. I just want to take a nap!