Insecurity

I am feeling so insecure. Who would have thought that at the age of 35---yes today is my birthday---I'd be where I am. Living with my parents, four kids and a job less husband, several dollars in debt, over weight and just depressed for the most part. It just has me in a stump of insecurity.

I just want to feel secure in this life.

I know that all happens for a reason. That we aren't tested above our means, but today I feel like I truly couldn't handle anymore. That I am about to break. I can't even imagine being able to handle any more or wanting to handle anymore. I feel I have hit rock bottom. I feel like I am drowning. I feel like I am done.

Talk about insecure right now.

Not insecure about myself. I think I am a pretty cool person. Don't mind too much how I look or if people like me.

My insecurities lie in what lies ahead. The uncertainty of the future. The uncertainty if ever my life will be calm. I know we are here to experience trials and tribulations, but I am done right now.

But again if these are the trials for me. I will take them, over other ones I know others have.

Talk about babbling.