Pushing

"You just keep pushing. You just keep pushing. I made every mistake that could be made. But I just kept pushing." was her answer to her children as they interviewed her.

It's hard to believe that 90 years have passed and she was still kicking. Life comes and goes so fast, and yet some days seem so long.

As her children probed her memories came flooding faster than her tongue could process them. One thing stuck out in her mind more than anything, the time her children were young and her husband traveled. She thought of that period with fondness and trepidation.

"Every day I woke up wondering how I was going to face the day of changing three different diapered kids, get an older off to school, get the house cleaned up and food on the table. Many days I would cry in bed before braving the cold brisk morning air. I never woke to my own accord, it usually was one of y'all that crept into bed, or cried for me from downstairs because you were starving and needed some breakfast. I often responded with the fact that you knew where the food was and to get it yourself. I wasn't the most patient mother and y'all were quick to remind me of it.

"One morning I had had it, I was just about to curl back in the covers, lock my bedroom door and call it a day. I figured I had yelled at you enough that morning. It started when little Mikey woke up at 5 am screaming with what was yet another ear infection. As I tried to comfort him, Katie, woke up and came crying into my room, and I just wasn't sure what she wanted. Then up woke the other two and started demanding who knows what. I regrettably snapped and yelled at the bunch of you, because sleep is so precious to me. But you, Tom, reminded me that y'all were more precious than my sleep.

"You turned to me, after we were all crying, and said to me 'Mom, I miss Dad too, and I am sorry we woke you up.' Very simple words that just touched my heart. I hugged each of you and apologized as quickly as I could. Letting you know that I too loved you very much.

"As I look back at your younger years, as I look at you raising your kids and my grandkids raising their kids. Part of me aches for those days. Those days that seemed to move like I was walking in mud up to my knees. The days where I was just pushing to get through it. I envy young mothers, and the awesome responsibility they have. The fun that they get to have to watch as their young ones see a butterfly for the first time, or take their first step. Sometimes I got caught up in the daily grind, and missed the beauty of it all.?