My Daily Writing Prompts

TUESDAY PROMPT:Corrine

2011-01-11T08:20:00.001-08:00

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe, she had so many children she didn't know what to do...

her husband has been jobless for almost 2 years, her children are so loud she wishes plugs for her ears.

She works out side the home several days a week, but comes home to full house work, which makes her feel weak.

So tired, so stressed, so utterly feeling alone, off to the gym she goes running and it feels like home.

Her prayers feel unanswered, her tears left alone to dry, her mind set for something better, no idea how to try.

Her frustration is mounting, the laundry collecting, the clock keeps on ticking, her life feels to be slipping.

No one to tell, her inner turmoil, no one she wants to know of her deep dark tale.

Her thoughts go a racing at all that life brings her facing.

She's tired. She's warn.

She's at her last straw.

If only she wonders,

a perfect life picture she draws.

Children bring smiles, laughter and tears, they continue to grow with the increasing years.

It will go fast so everyone says, but wonders how when minutes feel like days.

There is an old woman who lives in a shoe, with God on her side she knows what to do.

Praying each day, a scripture or two, seem to help her when she feels blue.

But alone she continues to struggle and live, and knows that something just has to give.

So she decides to forget about having a perfect house,

and hopes that the mess doesn't draw one more mouse.

Her kids are all dressed, not in the fancy name brands,

she continues to work, and still at the end of the day stands.

With a smile on her aged wringled face,

telling herself she is in the right place.

Its Potty Time My Little Pee...

2009-11-05T18:19:00.001-08:00

Walking down the aisle, reaching for the last few items, I tried to talk my body into "waiting" until we get home. "I can hold it...I live five minutes away. I only have a few more items to get....I can wait" I kept telling myself as I pushed my shopping cart with Two running, rather being dragged by me through the store.

"No I can not wait." I said to no one in particular. "Lets go Two!" I make her run.

I shoved the cart by the door, grabbed T- Rex from the seat and headed for the handicap stall. Holding T-Rex in one hand and trying to unbutton my pants, and getting Two to come in the stall with me was a little challenging.

I sat down still holding T-Rex. I was just glad to have made it to the bathroom. Then Two plops on the floor and peers under the stall.

"Mommy there's a lady in there."

"I know. Get up off the floor. Stop looking under the stall"

I reached over to pull her back, trying to keep my bare bum on the seat and balanced with T-Rex still in hand. She stands up. Then loud and proud said, "Mom why are you pooping.Its stinky. Why does pooh stink so much?"

And before I can answer she pops back down, with T-rex with her.

"Mom she is pulling up her pants."

"Two get up!...T-Rex...stop...get...over here" I ordered as he slipped further under the stall...

"I am sorry."....to which I got no response. I sat and was hoping she was done, considering the update Two gave me.

"Flush" ..... Flush, Flush.... Two found the little black button on the back of the toilet. Now that my back side is sufficiently wet, I hold both of my kids by their waist bands.

Two and T-Rex are under my control for a few seconds...plop! Back on the ground they went.

"She is still sitting!"

"Two!!! I am so sorry!!!!"

I hurriedly finish up thinking "I will beat her out of the stalls to the sink!"

Hoping to not have to face our poor bathroom victim, off we go to wash our hands. We were almost in the clear, drying our hands when out she came. I quickly dry their hands and apologize again, when the bathroom door opens, and in walks a mullet haired, baggy red U of U shirt, over stuffed jeaned woman.

"Mom, Mom....why is there a man in here?"

Oh my goodness can I just ignore that comment??

"No Sweetie that's a woman."

I grabbed my kids and headed out of the bathroom as I left the words..."I am sorry."

--
Posted By Corrine to 4 Kids, no dog, and living the American Dream! at 11/05/2009 07:20:00 PM

Re: [LDS-PS] Corrine: THURSDAY'S PROMPT

2009-09-10T14:58:00.001-07:00

>> Of course the house would come with a stainless steel self cleaning kitchen, and self cleaning bathrooms.

do they MAKE those? If so, I want them, too!

paulaj

Corrine: THURSDAY'S PROMPT

2009-09-10T10:10:00.001-07:00

If I had one wish for something of a material nature, not to be shared with anyone else, it would be a a home of my very own. Well in all actuality (is that a word) I wouldn't want anything that wouldn't be shared. My house would be big enough for our family, yet small enough to keep itself mostly clean. Not too showy, nice and homey! Inside would be beach colors and a big comfy family sofa. And I'd say I'd really like locks on my bedroom door, and a nice big master bath with a hot tub....and a swimming pool and playground outside.

A place where I could invite friends and family over and hang out and have a lot of fun. Of course the house would come with a stainless steel self cleaning kitchen, and self cleaning bathrooms. Oh and a laundry room with hanging and shelf space so I could fold and put away there.

I guess that just might be more than one wish. But that is my wish. A home. One to be shared with my family.

But then again, I'd really like a secret vacation home for me, to escape to....maybe my next wish!

From: Cherished <cherished@comcast.net>
To: LDS-PS@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thursday, September 10, 2009 8:00:31 AM
Subject: [LDS-PS] THURSDAY'S PROMPT

If I had one wish for something of a material nature, not to be shared with anyone else, it would be...

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TUesday Prompt : Ring Corrine

2009-09-01T17:00:00.001-07:00

Ring Ring....the phone awakened me from a deep sleep.

As I cleared my throat.."uh uh hello?"

"I am sorry did I wake you up?" asked the unknown yet familiar caller.

"Not a problem. I need to get up and get the kids from school."

"This is Shelly, the secretary from Hidden Hollow elementary."

"Oh yes, hi how are you doing?" I asked with a little bit of worry.

"I am doing alright. I am calling because the principal received your email inquiring about the position in our special education class."

"Oh great, for a second I thought one of my children was in trouble." I giggled a sigh of relief.

"Oh no just calling to see if you could meet Mrs. Rich in the moring to go over your resume."

"That would be wonderful. What time?"

"Would 9 Am work?"

"Yes I will see you then. Thanks so much."

As I hung up the phone I was amazed to have received a call so soon after sending the email. This would be an anwer to our prayers, working at our school with my kids.

I glanced down at the wedding ring on my left hand that I haven't had the courage to take off since my husbands passing. With eyes upward I know he is watching and looking out for me. If only he was around to call and share in this exciting moment.

Corrines Leasons of Summer

2009-08-25T08:57:00.001-07:00

Summer came and went too fast. Summer came and went too slow! Never thought the summer break would get here, and never thought the school year would ever come. I love summer time. I would say I am a summer person. Hence Hawaii made me happy, warmth, sun and water, I couldn't ask for more.

Spending time with my four young kids brought me to a knowledge of life goes fast, and that all the little things should be enjoyed. When it came time for the kids to pull the I am bored card out, and chores didn't fill that bored itch, I discovered spending time with each of us made them happy. We didn't have to spend lots of money to have fun or enjoy the summer life, we just had to spend it together. Whether we would just go for a walk, or to a neighborhood park, or take the little drive up to the lake, or even hang out at the restaurant together, there was laughter and enjoyment.

I truly felt bad heading into the summer with no money, a new neighborhood, a new home, and a life as a single mom. But we made it. I was able, well most days, to handle the kids alone, though I do truly appreciate my husband and all he used to do around the house, and appreciate him when he is able to be around. I learned to try to be creative in our activities and made an extra effort to make new friends not only for the kids but for me.

I grew a lot this summer. I discovered much about myself. I am adaptable and flexible. I make friends where ever I go. Someone the other day said to me how surprised she was at how I am the new girl and I am organizing and getting people together. I try. Though I realized that I am a homebody too, there were days where I had to beg and plead with my children to just stay home There weren't many of those, and well many nights I wish I had a good book to read. Which by the way reminds me I need to take the kids to the library.

Anyway the tv is way too loud for me to even think straight.

Timmy and Emily are walking around the house with their baby strollers. Not sure what Timmmy is going to do when Emily goes to preschool. Oh just had an idea.....well I think I have been babbling for awhile.

Corrine

TUESDAY'S PROMPT: Corrine where did it go??

2009-08-25T08:56:00.001-07:00

I know I set it down right here. Where did it go?? I have search hi, and low, oh where did it go?? Think Corrine, think. I am sure my library book didn't grow legs adn walk away. However there are five other sets of legs around here.

"Kids come here!"

"I can't find the book from the library. We need to find it."

We lift up the couch. "Mom I found my other shoe!" And other than that and several dust bunnies....no book.

We search through our book shelf, well actually little Timmy helped by dumping all the books on the floor. And as we sort them back on the shelf, we discover a few books needing some surgery but no library book.

Off to the kids rooms. Lets sort through the clothes. Fold and refold and put them back. No book. Under the beds is a great place to hide. Lots of missing socks and undies and what is this, a dirty shirt and a very wet swim suit??? No book??

Oh where or where did it go??

The car? Grab the vacuum, some trash bags and off we go. Oh my goodness, ok no more food and eating in the car...when did we eat fries last?? Gross...."Kids there will be no more eating in the car." Well until our next long drive and not only are the kids hungry but so is mom....Car is clean...no book.

Its lost. It is gone. There really is no other place it could be. OR is there?

Maybe the little people that like to sneak into our dryer and steal socks for sleeping bags for their weekend camp outs needs a book to read....just wish I knew where they were hiding, so I could find my book. Maybe they are scrabooking their latest camp-out???

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Every Member a Missionary

2009-04-26T08:45:00.001-07:00

Yesterday my son Gregory was baptized. He is the oldest of my four children. What an awesome blessing it was to watch him take such a major step in his life. He chose to be baptized, was eager and excited to do so. While sitting at the chapel the thoughts came to my mind of how often we loose that excitement about life and the gospel. He is young and this is new. Many times in our lives I think that we allow other things to bring us down, or distract us and we lose the excitement and the joy that the gospel plain and simple brings to our lives.

While serving my mission in Brazil my American companion and I decided that we would make snicker doodles for all of our investigators, and neighboring members. I really wanted to make chocolate chip cookies but we didn't have brown sugar or chocolate chips accessible. So we went to the next best thing we could. We worked hard in the kitchen during our P-day, then later that evening we went out and delivered them. Everyone was so excited to receive their little plate of home made cookies, something many of them had never had. I only imagined how much more they would have liked the chocolate chip cookies.

The sun had started to go down on us and we were heading out to our last home, when from off in the distance we heard footsteps running faster towards us, and a voice calling louder "sisters, sisters wait." A young boy caught up to us.

He asked "Sisters what are you giving to all the people."

"Cookies." We told him.

"Can I please have just one?" We looked at our last little plate with just six cookies on it for our last family. We knew there wouldn't be enough for them, but who could resist the asking of this young boy, who was so eager to have what we were giving to others.

We handed him the cookie and off he ran. No we didn't ever teach him or his family the gospel but it taught me a valuable lesson.

I have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, I have the full chocolate chip cookie! I have the blessings of being baptized, of having gone through the temple, having been sealed to my family for all eternity. I have a testimony and know that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ and through his atonement and the plan of our Father, I have happiness. Every day I should be filled with this excitement of having the gospel. And with that I have the responsibility to teach and share with those around me, members of my faith and those who are not.

I had planned to only share those cookies to those that I knew, those that I had planned to share the cookies with. I had no idea that I had to share with that young boy. I could have chosen to not give him the cookies and told them they were for someone else, but I didn't. He was excited about the cookies and wanted them, just as those around us are wanting and needing the joy in their lives that the gospel brings.

We never really know who is watching us and waiting for us to share with them the gospel.

At that time I had the full time responsibility of sharing the gospel to the people of Fortaleza and now my responsibility has changed some but is still there.

Each of us as baptized members of the church are required to share the gospel.

In Mark 16:15 the Savior commands us

".... Go ye into all the world, and ^apreach the ^bgospel to every ^ccreature"

And how do we share the gospel? How are we as members of the church to be a missionary, especially when we seem to be surrounded by already baptized members?

We start in our homes, through daily scripture study, prayers and kind acts. Also with a formal weekly family home evening. President Hinkley said:

"We have a family home evening program once a week [Monday night] across the Church in which parents sit down with their children. They study the scriptures. They talk about family problems. They plan family activities and things of that kind. I don't hesitate to say if every family in the world practiced that one thing, you'd see a very great difference in the solidarity of the families of the world" (interview, Boston Globe, 14 Aug. 2000).

"[The Lord] expects us to have family home evening—one night a week to gather our children together and teach them the gospel. Isaiah said, 'And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord.' That is the commandment: 'All thy children shall be taught of the Lord.' And the blessing: 'And great,' he said, 'shall be the peace of thy children' [Isa. 54:13]" (meeting, Nouméa, New Caledonia, 17 June 2000).

Being a friend to those around us, regardless of their faith, race, nationality, economic status, is another great way of being a missionary. I think many times we correlate missionary work to conversion through baptism. Many times those around us will not become baptized into the church, or appear to change their ways, and that is ok. The most important thing we can do is love them and be their friend regardless. In True to the Faith it states: "

Our expressions of love for others may include being kind to them, listening to them, mourning with them, comforting them, serving them, praying for them, sharing the gospel with them, and being their friend.

Our love for those around us increases when we remember that we are all children of God—that we are spirit brothers and sisters. The love that results from this realization has the power to transcend all boundaries of nation, creed, and color.

Another way to be a missionary is by serving those around us. Whether it is offering a ride to a neighbor walking home, or bringing dinner to a family, or going to visit elderly in the retirement home, or just calling up someone when their name pops into our head. Service brings us closer to others, it brings us closer to the spirit. It also shares with others the true love of Christ. The story of the good Samaritan reminds us of true charity and service. In a lesson in the Gospel Principles about Charity it states:

The parable of the good Samaritan teaches us that we should give to those in need, regardless of whether they are our friends or not (see Luke 10:30–37; see also James E. Talmage, Jesus the Christ, pp. 430–32). In the parable, the Savior said that a man was traveling to another city. On the road he was attacked by bandits. They stole his clothes and money and beat him, leaving him half dead. A priest came along, saw him, and passed him by. Then a temple attendant walked over, looked at him, and went on. However, a Samaritan, who was despised by the Jews, came along, and when he saw the man he felt compassion. Kneeling beside him, the good Samaritan bandaged his wounds and took him on a donkey to an inn. He paid the innkeeper to take care of the man until he recovered.

Jesus taught that we should give food to the hungry, shelter to those who have none, and clothes to the poor. When we visit the sick and those who are in prison, it is as if we were doing these things to him instead. He promises that as we do these things, we will inherit his kingdom. (See Matthew 25:34–46.)

We should not try to decide whether someone really deserves our help or not (see Mosiah 4:16–24). If we have taken care of our own family's needs first, then we should help all who need help. In this way we will be like our Father in Heaven, who causes rain to fall on the just and on the unjust alike (see Matthew 5:44–45).

President Harold B. Lee reminded us that there are those who need more than material goods: "It is well to remember that there are broken hearts and wounded souls among us that need the tender care of a brother who has an understanding heart and is kind" (Stand Ye in Holy Places, p. 228).

We need to serve those around us regardless if they are our friends or not.

The last way and I feel the most important way to be a missionary is being an example through our own conversion, our own way we live, through our daily lives. This reminds me of when on an airplane, and they explain the air bags and how we are to put our own mask on first before helping those that need assistance. If we aren't receiving oxygen, we will be unable to help those around us. Same goes for the gospel and missionary work. If we aren't teaching and sharing the gospel to ourselves through our daily scripture study, prayers, church attendance, home and visiting teaching, service, we will not be able to share the gospel with others.

We have been blessed to have the restored gospel in our lives. We have the fullness of the gospel that is meant to bring a fullness of joy into our lives.... we have the brown sugar and the chocolate chips to make a tasty cookie. And we have the ability to share it with those around us.

As we go through out our lives, and strengthen our own testimonies through the studying and living of the gospel, I pray that we can remember the simple and plain truths so that we can be missionaries to those around us. I know the Gospel is true. I know God lives and loves us. And am so grateful for the atonement of Christ and the blessing it is in my life. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Faith and Hope: Week Two

2009-04-22T08:47:00.001-07:00

Faith and Hope go together like salt and pepper, oil and vinegar, bread and butter, you really can't have one with out the other.

Lately my faith has been missing its hope, and I wondered if I really had any faith at all. Faith in my future, faith in my existing life, hope for a better future and hope for my life, were gone. I don't think they left in an instant. They slowly were chipped away with each passing event: losing a job, moving, moving again, again moving, hospital stays, kids getting sick, money disappearing, me stopping doing the things that bring me daily enjoyment.

My life seemed to be scattered across the fields, taking with it my faith and hope.

I have found them recently.

I have faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, and know through him all is possible.

I have faith that He is leading and guiding us, he is holding my hand, not running in front of me wanting me to chase him, as I had been feeling. Winded and unable to catch up to something that was next to me not in front of me.

I now have hope in the fact that things are going to turn around. I have faith that the humbling that has been happening to me, will lead to a very promising future. Not one with out bumps, but one filled with hope. And one where I follow in faith knowing that with Him by my side, all things are possible.

NOah: Who would have thought??

2009-04-09T20:46:00.001-07:00

This morning our toilet backed up....I was informed by my seven year old, soon to be eight in a few days, who yelled from the bathroom "the toilet is about to throw up water everywhere, pooh is going to get on the floor!"

I ran in and sure enough he was right, luckily none of the insides exploded on to the floor.

I packed the little three in to the car and headed out on a mission to find a plunger. Who would of thought it would be so hard...I mean I swear the last time I was at the store I saw one sitting right next to the toilet cleaning wand...but not today!

My first attempt was our local grocery store, where I swear I saw it before....I looked up and down the aisles...some how filling my cart with other things that I really didn't need, like the doughnut holes that were calling my name....or the large fresh strawberries that jumped into my cart, I swear I ate breakfast before I left.

Anyway $40 later, I was out the door. I called home to let Eric know I failed on my trip but got some groceries and asked him to call our upstairs neighbors to see if he could borrow their plunger, as we have had to borrow it before. He was not willing to do it. And told me on my way home before coming in to go ask her, since I would be outside anyway.

I got a little irritated and instead of coming home and borrowing the neighbors I set out on a mission, in hopes of finding one and to let Eric suffer holding his morning need to use the toilet.

I didn't go too far, but was driving really slow looking at all the stores, wondering if they carried a plunger...

scrapbook store--Probably not....

Reams cowboy gear...Um no they probably don't even use a toilet :).....

party gift shop...usually plungers aren't on the list of birthday gifts, would shoving hellium balloons down the toilet help???

another grocery store---not worth taking my kids out of the car to check....

AHHHHHHH Standard PLUMBING supply!!

Totally...Totally a plumbing store! They have to have a plunger Right?????

WRONG!!!

I walked in and looked around at all the pipes and gadgets and finally asked Noah the man at the counter, "Where are your plungers?"

"Oh we don't carry plungers believe it or not..."

"Really??" See I thought he was kidding...wouldn't you?? I mean Standard PLUMBING supply store??? What plumber doesn't need a plunger???

"Yeah we don't carry them, sorry."

"Ok thanks..."

I walked out a little dumbfounded....and determined to go find one.

Bee, as we drove away, said "that's crazy that a plumbing store doesn't have a plunger!"

"i know its like an ice cream store not having ice cream!"

"Yeah that is crazy totally like a grocery store not having food"

"Or a shoe store not having shoes!"

"Yeah that is CRAZY" and the game went on forever and she then said "I bet Home Depot has it"

"I bet you are right....."

And well we came upon a LOWEs and low and behold the plunger!! Yeah for me, mission accomplished.....and when I got home, I even was able to successfully unplug the toilet!

Moral of the story.....you can't judge a store by its name!

--
Posted By Corrine to 4 Kids, no dog, and living the American Dream! at 4/08/2009 10:22:00 PM

Earth Worms

2009-04-09T20:45:00.001-07:00

As the rain clouds slowly blew away, the sun shone a little light on the ground inviting us to creep out of our house, where we had been locked in all day. With four small kids, keeping them happy indoors for too long, can be come extremely difficult. So the minute the rains let up, we were out the door. I think I already said that didn't I. None the less, we were eager to get moving and smell some fresh wet pavement and cleaned out air.

After strapping the baby in the stroller and locking the front door, we headed on to our little mile walk. Seems that the eyes of children see things clearer and notice things better, far better than my own aged eyes.

Coming out of the ground, most likely eager as us to get some sunlight, was a long skinny pink earth worm. My own son mistaking it for a small snake, quickly asked if he could keep it for a pet.

"Really you want to keep this as a pet? You can I guess. They just need dirt. Where are you going to put it?"

"Umm I don't know."

We all looked around for something to put him in. My son tried the flat rock, but the worm wiggled off. Then there was a straw, he thought to have him climb in, but the worm would have nothing to do with that.

Then my eyes caught a hold of the empty water bottle in the bottle of the stroller. I convinced them that it would make a great home for the worm. Just add a little dirt, and voila you have a cool worm home. So they filled the bottle up. And now we have a pet. Wonder if we can teach him any tricks?

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Writing

2009-02-27T20:12:00.001-08:00

Writing seems to free my soul, release my thoughts and lighten my load. When my fingers hit the keys its like a spiritual prison gate is unlocked.

Amazingly I can express my thoughts through written word, far better than verbally. How is that possible that my mind can communicate better through my fingers than through my mouth?

It can. Most days.

knowledge

2009-02-27T20:06:00.001-08:00

Knowledge can be
gained as well as lost.
Taught and shared
with those we love.
Knowledge can not
be seen or really heard.
Ever expanding,
never limited.
A struggle to gain,
a treasure to keep.
Helpful
Insightful
replenishable
Important to nurture it
Only thing we take with us.

Sugar Cubes

2009-02-27T20:05:00.001-08:00

Please dear come sit down with me and have some tea. Would you like a little sugar? aske Ms. Lucy Mack.

"no thank you." replied, Emma. "I prefer it plain. I know it is kind of bitter that way but I just don't like the sweet."

"To think a young gal as your self not crazy about sugar as are the other young kids of today." Ms. Mack commented, as she lifted her little tea cup to her mouth to take a sip. At that moment her young son Joseph came into the room with a hop skip and a jump. Wearing his white knickers and stripped shirt, all covered in dirt, it was obivious his baseball game was a successful one.

"Mom, mom, I got three home r....oh excuse me, I din't realize you had company." Joe said as he saw Emma Long sitting on the floral arm chair. There she sat with golden hair, all in perfect ringlets resting on her shoulder. She made eye contact with a nervous smile, as she then tilted her head down looking back down at her untouched tea in her hands. "How are you doing Emma?" the young handsome man asked.

"Very well thank you. I just stopped by to see if I could borrow some sugar for some cakes we are baking. Your mom was kind enough to invite me to sit down with her and have some tea."

"Well it is great to see you again." He said as he turned to his mother and as quickly as he came in he left the room as he said "I am going to wash up."

bandaids

2009-02-27T20:02:00.000-08:00

Today Two smashed her finger in the door, kind of a theme going on lately around here. After she stopped crying and was able to tell me what had happened, she asked or rather said "Me need a bandaid, mommy. It hurts me need a bandaid." Her finger wasn't bleeding, which for me is why you need a bandaid, but it was smooshed (I know it isn't a word but I like it) a little and red and obviously hurting.

So we went to the kitchen and pulled out the first aid kit and bandaged up her little finger, it was actually her middle but not sure why I just added that. Anyway once it was done I asked her if it felt better. You know what she said? "No, it still hurts."Usually the bandaid is a cure all for pain and sores and other bodily afflictions.

It caused me to pause and think about what "bandaids" I use for my emotional owies. Kind of funny that we keep the first aid kit in the kitchen because I think that is where I go first for my "bandaids" that are usually found in the refrigerator.

For example, not that I did this...ok I did....I bought some chocolate macadamia nuts for my "pay it forward" friends. I had enough that yesterday the kids and I shared a box, ok two...well the second Bee took some this morning for a friend, so we didn't eat both boxes, totally.

Anyway after the kids were off to school the little ones and I went for a little walk. For some reason I came home really sad. We are talking tears running down the face sad. Not sure where it all came from. But you know what I did, I came in and went straight for the un opened box of chocolates and started eating them.Then I asked myself, "do you feel better?"

And you know what my answer was?? "No but they tasted good." And as I sat there feeling sorry for myself, and lonely and just out of the blue blue, the phone rang. THANKS!! I know you felt you should call me and it was very appreciated and very very timely.

So my question to you is: What are some of your bandaids?

I wish mine were running or drinking lots of water or skipping!Though I do have to say I tend to use writing and walking as some other band aids.

Speaking of which we are off to walk to the post office. And summer is over and we still don't have a job for after the elections.

Favorite Tv Shows

2009-02-27T19:58:00.001-08:00

I love TV, I admit. I am addicted. I can't fall asleep with out it. It used to be I couldn't fall asleep until I wrote in my journal, or read, but now no matter what time it is when I hit the bed I have to watch a good 20 minutes before I fall asleep. Sometimes it is just changing channels or sometimes it's my favorite 8 o'clock show.

What do I prefer to watch? Oh man, some I am embarrassed to even say.

First I love and record Ghost Whisperer! I can't seem to get enough of her ghost talking friends. Walking around seeing ghost struggling to figure out what they are doing still on earth and Melinda being able to help them solve their problems so they can move on into the light, always brings great story lines. The writers know how to turn something sometimes dark into something light and peaceful. Though I have to admit the latest story line of her husband's spirit going into another man's body and the same actor playing him, has me in a quandary. But love this show.

I also love Medium...I think I have a thing about death. Actually I do, I used to only write about death and murder when I was younger. Now I know there is more to life, though we do all die. Medium is good, I like their family life, and their daughter Bridgette always has me laughing. This show though is almost always based on murder, where Ghost Whisperer just deals with lost souls more than anything.

Then there is my Clean House on style network. A group of people come in and help people purge and clean out their messes, then sell it at a garage sale, then use that money to redecorate, clean and style their home, while the home owners go away. My daughter and I were watching the marathon yesterday and she said "we should make our house really messy so we can have them come and make me a cute room."

To which I replied "we need a house first."

"Oh yeah" she said.

I really like CSI las vegas, I have to admit I have been watching that show since day one. I turned a lot of my friends on to that show. Before it even started I wanted to be a crime scene photographer. However, the police chief, a family friend, talked me out of it. He said it would be a fun job, bunch of fun young people, however he asked me "have you ever smelled a two week old rotting dead body?" Yeah don't think I could do the smells...let alone the real sight. So I live vicariously through these guys.

Then of course the latest of my favorites is Private Practice. It has me sucked in, however its a little too much of a soap opera and I am tired of them all sleeping together, but I really like the show.

Anyway that is enough of my TV watching. I could list a few other, like House and The Office (though haven't really watched that since the movie strike way back when. I like My Name is Earl, and always enjoy Survivor.

Bad Habit

2009-02-27T19:57:00.000-08:00

Did you say write about your most annoying habit or your worst habit? Are they one in the same? I am not sure. I guess I could scroll down and read again but then that just might take too much effort now wouldn't it.

I'd have to say it is my laziness sometimes. Don't get me wrong when I want to do something I do it NOW....ask my husband, he hates chore days with me. I am like get in, get out and get it down NOW. He is like oh pick up a few shirts, sit watch a movie, fold some laundry, get a drink, vaccuum...ok so maybe that is a bad habit of mine....

Oh I don't know this is hard, but again back to the laziness thing, I think I am not as lazy as I am easily distracted. You know like you go to clean your closet and you want to do it fast and then you find some pictures, that you decide need to go in the other room and then while there realize you haven't made the bed yet...you know and it goes on.

Speakdig of which I should be getting my kids some breakfast they are standing at my feet begging for some food and well I should go give them some but I really wanted to write and check my email.

I ran this morning too...I need to write about that.

Preparedness

2009-02-27T19:56:00.002-08:00

Driving up Highway 17 with my mom, I was thinking about how my wart was finally gone off my toe. As a 16 year old this little wart was some of the biggest of my concerns, consuming my thoughts. I was not even thinking about the World Series pre game chatter we were listening to at the time on the radio. My thoughts and concerns focused on my look, my finally normal toe. In a brief moment my mundane, innocent thoughts turned. The road became a sea of waves. The radio fell silent. Trees lined the streets and bowed down to us. An overwhelming eerie quiet and calm filled the air. What had happened?

I quickly realized an earthquake had hit, and began to giggle at all the people pulled over checking their tires for a flat. My mom even commented that she thought we had a flat. Realizing that not every single person got a flat, I urged my mom to continue on, but we were stopped by huge fissures in the highway. We took a back road, to only be stopped again by fallen trees and rushing waters from broken water mains.

As we hiked the few miles home up hill, I looked into the homes, and was amazed at how messy all our neighbors kept them. Not until I walked into my own home did I realize the intense destruction of the earthquake of which its epicenter was two miles away.

Were we prepared that day? In some ways, we have been counseled by leaders and Prophets to store up food, have candles and water to be prepared for an emergency. We had that, well most of that. We didn’t have stored water but some juices and sodas.

I am not sure what I thought an emergency would consist of but nothing from words or lessons could have prepared us for a week with no electricity and six months with no running water, never mind all the rebuilding and repairing that was to take place.

With out the electricity, we turned to our frozen foods, not our can foods. The freezer didn’t stay cold for long, and all that meat and frozen vegetables had to be consumed. I don’t think I ever consumed so much meat in my life. The great part was we sat around the BBQ grill, with flashlights and roasted meat, and shared stories with friends and neighbors. We even delivered cooked steaks to other neighbors, and shared our food with them.

In my few years of life, I had sat through Sunday School lessons and Sacrament meeting talks, as the words of being prepared for an emergency flew over my head. I was a youth. I had no cares. I had no worries. My parents would take care of it all, and they did.

And not only did they, but neighbors and ward members all helped out. We cleaned each other’s houses. We gave food. Wards from across the country “adopted” us and sent us new dishes, meals, other lost items and cash.

In the end of it all I learned a great lesson. Maybe I wasn’t prepared that day for an emergency, I was too preoccupied with my little wart growing on my foot to care about heeding “adult” council. However, there isn’t a day that goes by that doesn’t bring me back to that moment in my life, when we needed to be prepared.

We needed to be prepared to receive help from others.

We needed to be prepared to help others.

We needed several everyday items on hand to survive. Roads weren’t drivable to go down to the store. The local stores received a lot of damage as well, to where their things weren’t sellable.

We needed to be prepared to watch others selflessly serve. Our own Branch President at the time, lost his home, it was leveled. He went around and checked branch members, he helped them out. The local beer company stopped producing beer for a week and just canned water, which they delivered in cases to all the homes in the area.

Emergency preparedness is more than having your shelves lined with canned food, flashlights and blankets. It’s about preparing your hearts for the type of service you will give to others and also the service you will receive.

And like me, just driving along on the freeway worrying more about my little toe, than others, we need to stop on our journey of life and think about those around us; how we can be prepared to serve them as well as take care of ourselves.

President Brigham Young said “Instead of searching after what the Lord is going to do for us, let us inquire what we can do for ourselves.” As we go about praying for the Lord to help us be prepared for our life emergencies, we need to go about and do all that we can to be prepared and pray that He can help us get to the point where we can not only be prepared for ourselves, but prepared to reach out to those around us.

Stop worrying about your little warts, and begin to worry about the bigger picture.

Piano Man

2009-02-27T19:56:00.001-08:00

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, regular crowd shuffles in...there's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin...Oh la di da di da da...." sang my radio as I began to reach over to snooze the melody waking me up this cold winter morning. I never liked having to set the alarm to wake up before the sun. And today was no exception.

I rolled over and shoved my head under the pillow, telling my alarm to give me ten more minutes. I do set my clock ahead ten minutes just so I can snooze an extra ten minutes. Kind of crazy mind games I play with myself, but there is something powerful about hitting the snooze and dozing off for a few minutes.

Though before I can finish dreaming about being a piano man in a bar, the alarm goes off again, to the sounds of the weather forecaster predicting a heavy snow fall. Great. The morning I decide to finally get up and go for a run it is freezing out and blizzardly.

I knew I should have bought a gym membership, I thought to myself as I tied up my shoes. I decided nothing was going to keep me from my goal. I grabbed my jacket, my hat and gloves and off I went.

To Run or Not To Run

2009-02-27T19:55:00.001-08:00

To Run or not to Run,

seems to be the biggest question of my life...I mean really do you know any really over weight runners? I mean really, it seems to be such a simple task, get up, move your feet a little faster than walking, just two miles a day....and they say you will get faster, they say the weight will drop. They say you will feel better.

So why the heck is it so hard to get my tennis shoes on? Why can't I find the 30 minutes I need each day to make it the 2 miles? Why is it so hard to just go outside alone?

I just don't know!

Though today, amidst the rain, the cold weather, the crying of the kids "don't go mommy" I went out side and walked for an hour. Up the hills. Down the hills. Jogging a little here and there.

It is a start. It is a beginning.

Maybe just maybe in a few weeks I can be jogging. Maybe in a few weeks I will be down just ten pounds. Not a lot but a start.

Later I will work on the eating, but for now, its getting these legs moving.

Beck, Alice Walker, and Kissy Face

2009-02-27T19:52:00.002-08:00

As I drove down the street heading to meet up with some friends, I listened carefully to the words of John Beck. If there were someone out there that could voice my political feelings. Something he said, headed my thoughts away from him and onto my own pathetic life.

What was it that he had said? I can't really remember but it made me think that this economy and recession and signs of the times have come and bit my family in the butt.

Really, how did we get where we are? What did we do that caused us to be heaped upon by trials and tribulations. I know it is apart of life, but really could we just slow it down a bit.

Then for some reason, maybe a little guidance by the spirit telling me to lighten up, I thought of the book The Color Purple, where life for those gals was tough, truly hard, and nothing compared to my life.

Though why does it feel like I have hit bottom that I can't get out of the hole that I am in?

Its is hard enough to find a job, let alone in our times right now. I feel for those across the nation that their whole towns and family are struggling what we are. I feel for my own brother and some dear friends.

What I would do right now to have someone look at me and make one of those fishy kissy faces and make things all better, sending me into a fit of laughter.

If life were only as easy as it was when a child, when simple smiles and kisses made you feel better.

headache

2009-02-27T19:52:00.001-08:00

"I have a headache this big and it has Excedrin written all over," buzzed the lady on TV looking worse than I did this morning. I really could use some Excerine myself.

Its been several weeks since I slept all night, and several more that I have stayed up way too late, surfing the web for solutions to my life problems.

Not sure how many solutions I can find out there hopping through blogs, reading emails, looking at free stuff on KSL, and looking for homes for sale and for rent. It isn't like I can buy a house, or rent one for that matter. I have no room for stuff, even if it is free, and my emails are old and out dated, but unread, but not calling me really to read them anyway.

I feel alone. I feel tired. I feel lost. I feel sad. I haven't felt this bad, since my post partum depression post my third child.

My head is pounding. I need some sun light, but the cold outside gives me brain freeze and burns my lungs.

Oh how I could go for a bottle of Excederine, right now. Maybe a Coke would help or a visit with some friends.

Insecurity

2009-02-27T19:51:00.002-08:00

I am feeling so insecure. Who would have thought that at the age of 35---yes today is my birthday---I'd be where I am. Living with my parents, four kids and a job less husband, several dollars in debt, over weight and just depressed for the most part. It just has me in a stump of insecurity.

I just want to feel secure in this life.

I know that all happens for a reason. That we aren't tested above our means, but today I feel like I truly couldn't handle anymore. That I am about to break. I can't even imagine being able to handle any more or wanting to handle anymore. I feel I have hit rock bottom. I feel like I am drowning. I feel like I am done.

Talk about insecure right now.

Not insecure about myself. I think I am a pretty cool person. Don't mind too much how I look or if people like me.

My insecurities lie in what lies ahead. The uncertainty of the future. The uncertainty if ever my life will be calm. I know we are here to experience trials and tribulations, but I am done right now.

But again if these are the trials for me. I will take them, over other ones I know others have.

Talk about babbling.

My Turn

2009-02-27T19:51:00.001-08:00

I have decided that right now its My TURN to take care of myself.

I have decided that it is ok for me to take an hour out of my day, to run, to read, to just be me.

I have decided that when it is eight at night and kids are crying because they want me and don't want to go to sleep, it is ok to say you know what its your turn to go to bed, and my turn to do things for me.

I have decided that when all is said and done if I don't take my turn, I won't be around to do much of anything.

I need my turn to recoup.

I need my turn to refocus.

I need my turn to breath.

I need my turn to smile.

I need my turn to laugh.

I need my turn to think.

I need my turn to just be me.

I need my turn to remember that I love those around me, and love taking a little bit of my turn time.

And it is OK!!!

Table Manners

2009-02-27T19:49:00.000-08:00

Ring Ring.

'Not the phone again.' Emily thought to herself as she had just sat down to dinner with her family.

"Mom, THE PHONE." shouted little sis.

"I know. Lets just ignore it and enjoy dinner."Not sure of what she was thinking, about the whole idea of enjoying dinner. Had she not taught her family any manners?

"Honey" she directed the comment to her husband of eight years, "please get your arms off the table. You don't need to lay in your food and shovel it into your mouth like you are running a marathon." Emily was tired of seeing her husband day in and day out, hunched over his food throwing it in as fast as he could. What kind of manners is that teaching the children. Her thoughts and words were then directed to Mikey.

"Mike, no humming while you eat. Just eat your food and sing later please. Stop banging your feet like your playing the drums. It is dinner time not band practice."

'Oh my goodness, I should have just answered the phone.' Just then baby Steve through his unfinished food and bowl to the floor with a loud crash. Fed up she just left the table, not minding her own manners and asking to be excused, nor clearing her plate. Another day. We will work on the manners.

adventures in kitchen land

2009-01-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

Adventures in Kitchen Land.

"Mom, Mom, Can we please make red velvet cupcakes. Please.. We bought the mix at the store last week. Please????" Yelled Bethany from the kitchen to her mother in the other room.

Mom was in the middle of changing loads, finishing up cleaning the down stairs bath and vacuuming the floor. She didn't know where she was going to squeeze in a few minutes to make some cupcakes.

She switched loads quickly, shook out the rugs, and finished her vacuuming and walked into the kitchen. Sitting at the island were her two little daughters, six and three. Set on the island in perfect order and patterned by color, were cupcake holders.

"Can we Mom?" Bethany asked again.

"Yes" Mom quickly replied.

"Do we have the things that you put the cupcakes in?"

"Yes let me go get some."

Mom ran off, well not ran, but went swiftly, though feeling the pain of her morning run. A new goal in her life lately. Making cupcakes probably doesn't help with that goal, but oh well. She went to the storage room, pulled out the tins and returned to her smiling girls.

Together they laughed and talked as they whipped up the cupcakes. After each tin was full, the girls covered their faces in red sticky goo as they licked the beaters.

Shoemaker

2009-01-28T19:59:00.000-08:00

Shoemaker:

There was once a shoemaker who worked very hard and was honest, and good.
His life was so simple, his family so loyal, he did all that he could.

One day in the winter,
when the weather was cold.
He took a trip through the woods.

His shoes were too tight,
though he loosened them with all his might.

A loud noise he heard as he tied his shoe strings,
un aware of the tree, falling down with the breeze.

The tree did fall, on top of this man,
who did not fair well, alone in the woods.

Trapped he did stay days on end,
until his family, him did find.

The Band

2009-01-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

The wedding reception had been going on for hours. So many friends and family members were there enjoying the celebrations, and the food and drinks...and the company. The summer sun had long gone set. The young couple, eager to start their new life together, prompted the band to play one last song. Their song again was played.

Timmy held his new bride, Elizabeth in his arms. Their cheeks touched. The world around them blurred as they spun in their own circle of love.

"Can you believe we are finally married?"

(I press send before even finishing this but didn't feel like finishing it.)

Manners

2009-01-28T19:56:00.000-08:00

Ring Ring. 'Not the phone again.' Emily thought to herself as she had just sat down to dinner with her family.

"Mom, THE PHONE." shouted little sis.

"I know. Lets just ignore it and enjoy dinner."

Not sure of what she was thinking, about the whole idea of enjoying dinner. Had she not taught her family any manners?

"Honey" she directed the comment to her husband of eight years, "please get your arms off the table. You don't need to lay in your food and shovel it into your mouth like you are running a marathon." Emily was tired of seeing her husband day in and day out, hunched over his food throwing it in as fast as he could. What kind of manners is that teaching the children.

Her thoughts and words were then directed to Mikey. "Mike, no humming while you eat. Just eat your food and sing later please. Stop banging your feet like your playing the drums. It is dinner time not band practice."

'Oh my goodness, I should have just answered the phone.' Just then baby Steve through his unfinished food and bowl to the floor with a loud crash.

Fed up she just left the table, not minding her own manners and asking to be excused, nor clearing her plate.

Another day.

We will work on the manners.

My Turn

2009-01-28T19:55:00.000-08:00

have decided that right now its My TURN to take care of myself.

I have decided that it is ok for me to take an hour out of my day, to run, to read, to just be me.

I have decided that when it is eight at night and kids are crying because they want me and don't want to go to sleep, it is ok to say you know what its your turn to go to bed, and my turn to do things for me.

I have decided that when all is said and done if I don't take my turn, I won't be around to do much of anything.

I need my turn to recoup.

I need my turn to refocus.

I need my turn to breath.

I need my turn to smile.

I need my turn to laugh.

I need my turn to think.

I need my turn to just be me.

I need my turn to remember that I love those around me, and love taking a little bit of my turn time.

And it is OK!!

Why are you where you are right now?

2009-01-27T06:10:00.000-08:00

Monday, July 7, 2008

Why are you where you are right now?
A few months back, just after Christmas, we were sitting around, probably watching TV. I am not sure other than we were sitting in our family room, me on the sofa and Eric in his blue recliner rocker chair. We must have been talking about something, or maybe we were watching a design show but I said to him "we need to get our house ready and sell it." To which he replied, "I know I had the same exact feeling."

So I got on the phone and called my sister in law, Leslie, and asked her to come and help me clean out the closets, kitchen or whatever I could use her for to help me get something gone and cleaned out. She was such a sweetheart and came up a few days later. I believe we cleaned out the kitchen and laundry room. She helped me a few years back when I was pregnant with Emily. With her there to help it kick started me into getting all kinds of things done.

A few months later, after much paint, sweat and tears, and some wonderful friends cheering me on and moving things out. I think Michele did a ton of Goodwill runs for me. The house was ready to put on the market.

Around the time we put the house on the market, Eric was approached at work about working in Hawaii for six months. He was excited to take on the challenge, but accepted with one request, that he be able to take the family with him. The guys at work were extremely surprised that we'd be willing to uproot ourselves for six months. But he mentioned to them, that we had already put our house on the market and were planning on moving already. He didn't mention that we had no idea at the time where we would be moving to or why we were really going to sell our house. But none the less he said yes.

And then the turmoil began.It took until the week before we got here, to know for sure we were coming. Too much to really go into any details, other than there was a lawsuit against the state and it just held things up. And actually until about a week ago..yeah exactly a week ago, we didn't know if the job was going to be Hart's after all-Eric's company. Needless to say the time from when we said we were going to move, until today has been filled with turmoil and uncertainty.

And to be honest there still is quite a bit of uncertainty as to where we will be at the end of November. We have fallen in love with Hawaii. Well at least I have. I can't imagine living any where else at this point. I truly call this home. It feels like the first time in a long time, that I am at home. Grant it, I would love to have some furniture and some home furnishings to make this home my little nest, but it is home.

I really love it here. I love the surroundings. I love the people. And I really love being here with my family.Sure it has had its ups and downs and no life is perfect. I really miss a back yard to send the kids running. I miss old friends. Though blogging has kept them "close." Gas is really high and groceries are worse, but I am happy to be here. And happy we made this decision. Now just need to figure out where we will be for Christmas.

What Makes you Laugh?

2009-01-27T06:07:00.000-08:00

Speaking of laughter reminds me often of my family growing up. Laughter filled the air. However one night on my third or fourth date with a certain boy, laughter was not all that filled the air.

This guy, we will call him Ryno, brought me home from a date to my sister's house. Waiting at the house were my parents and several of my siblings if not all, all cramped into a small room. They were playing some board game, probably True Colors. Well they had had "fire butt chili" that night for dinner, and they were all passing gas.

So I walk into this overly populated room with Ryno and my family just laughed. They were being really loud too, and I had just finished explaining to Ryno that my family was fairly quiet. Anyway they proved me wrong that night. He stood there quietly for a bit and then left.

I am not sure if it was the loud laughter or the smells that drove him away. However I don't think he ever asked me out again after that moment. Oh well. His loss.

We do love to laugh.My brothers and Dad have a keen way of telling a joke that is not heard by anyone else, because they are laughing so hard before they reach the punch line. But because of their tears of laughter, everyone else is laughing too. To hear the three of them together telling jokes, is quite amusing to me. Because it mostly goes like this:

There was this guy...giggle giggle snort...who....giggle walk...ed....giggle...loud laugh....missed the joke.....

Anyway love listening to those guys tell jokes and laugh.

Then there is my wonderful husband who gets me laughing all the time. I am not sure what it was but once we sat on the bed laughing, laughing so hard are stomachs hurt afterwards, so hard that the whole family heard us laughing. We can just make each other laugh. And we both giggle easily I think.Sometimes we just do some silly stupid stuff to make ourselves laugh.

My kids make me laugh. They say things that just crack me up. The sad thing is I don't remember them all. I need to be better about writing down the things they say and record them. Because my goodness every day they humor me.I love to laugh.

What makes you laugh?

Maddie's Whole long Story: I think

2008-10-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

The snow cap mountains began to shed their skin, dripping fresh water in the neighboring streams. Dressed in fresh pink blossoms and light green leaves, the trees blew in the breeze. Sweet smell of roses filled the air. Out with the winter sweaters and on with the shorts and tees. Maddy couldn't wait to head out to the family cabin nestled between the rockies. This was her favorite time of year, sitting by the pond with journal in hand sketching the surrounding beauty.

As she drove the winding roads, the life she left behind grew further and further away, driving her closer to the fresh start she needed and planned. It is amazing though how life doesn't always go as one plans. Maddy had met the man of her dreams, or so she thought. Their courtship was too short, sure to not last so all had commented and sadly had come true. She had just received the divorce papers. It was official.

She thought of Tim with fondness and bitterness all rolled up in one. It had only been three short year, but by far the longest three years of her life. She should have seen the signs those first few months they were dating before they were to wed. He just swept her off her feet, only to drop her flat on her face. It began to become hard to hide the bruises the last few months before she finally decided to file for divorce.

With both hands on the wheel, her mind stewing over the divorce, her eyes caught the glimpse of a doe and her fawn in a meadow nibbling on the new foliage. This was a pleasant sight, and one that brought her deep thoughts back to the present moment. "Three years were long enough to stew over him. Time to enjoy the here and now" she told her self, as she began to really enjoy the beauty around her.

Traveling up the tree lined road, she smiled realizing she was free. As the spring brings a fresh look to the earth, so is this move to the family cabin. As she went around the last bend her heart skipped a beat to see the cabin sitting in its little valley. She pulled into the dirt drive, parked the car and opened the door. Looking back in the car at all her personal belongings, she decided to leave them until she looked through the cabin and cleaned out the dust. It had been over a year since anyone had been in there.

She walked to the door, to find that it was open partially. No one was suppose to have been there. No one she knew had the keys. Leary of entering, she pulled out her cell phone pressed 9-1-1, not pressing talk yet, but just in case she was ready. She hated that she always lived in fear. That is what happens when you have been married to a monster for so many years.

Her heart began to race a little faster as she rested her shaking palm on the front door, giving it a little push. "Hello, is someone in here?" whispering slightly kind of in hopes that no one would hear her. With the door just a little more open she peeked her head in. Nothing appeared to be disturbed other than the fact that a few lights were on and the dust sheets were off of the couches and chairs. A blanket of safety en wrapped her as the scent of home made cookies greeted her. "Hello" she said with a bit more confidence and sound.

"Hello Maddie. Welcome home." Auntie Liz said as she greeted Maddie. "Oh I am so glad to see you made it here before dark. I was trying to hurry and clean everything up for you before you got here. I didn't want you to arrive and have to get things settled. I hope you don't mind. Your mother called me and told me you were coming and nothing could have kept me from prepping the place."

"I didn't see your car." Maddie knew that although they were neighbors, the four miles of woods that separated them weren't a quick or easy little walk.

"Oh I know. Fred had to run to town to pick some things up and he dropped me off before he went. He should be back here shortly. As a matter of fact one of the "Things" he is picking up is my nephew William, a nice fellow, charming and just finished graduate school." Auntie Liz mentioned.

Maddie ignored the comments about that guy because the last thing she wanted in her life right now was a single man. "How is Uncle Fred doing?" He really wasn't her uncle nor was Liz her Aunt, but they could of been, all the summers they spent together playing with their kids, family dinners. Oh the memories, those were good times, she thought to her self.

"Well you know he is getting on in years and his diabetes is getting the best of him. We have tried hard to watch our diet and well anyway I don't need to bother you with that information. He is doing well. You will see." Auntie Liz said as she pulled the fresh baked chocolate chip cookies out of the oven and began to put them on a cooling rack.

"Oh it is no bother. You know I love you guys. Sorry I didn't keep in better touch. Life has, well taken me for a ride that I never really thought I'd go on." Maddie said as she looked around at her old and comfortable family home. Her eyes stopped at the picture hanging over the fire place. It brought a smile to her face and a bit of warmth to her heart. In the photograph stood her great grandparents- who gazed at each other in such love, almost as if they were all alone, paying no attention to their four kids on the front porch of the cabin- on the day they moved in. Her grandmother was about five, wearing un-traditionally for her time, short alls. She was practically running off the picture in a blur. The girl couldn't hold still then and now for that matter. Oh her grandmother sure was a fiery lady. Maddie then remembered she needed to call her and let her know she arrived safely. Her thoughts stopped when she heard Liz say something.

"I'm sorry Liz, my mind was drifting down memory lane. " replied Maddie.

"I'm happy to see you smile. Your mom mentioned to me all the heartache you have been through and I am so sorry. I'm just glad you are here and safe. Would you like a cookie." Liz said as she handed the plate full of hot fresh yumminess.

As Liz took off her apron, hanging it on the pantry door, her attention drew to the sound of tires on the gravel driveway. "That must be Fred and William."

Maddie looked at the back wall into the mirror, noticing it needed some dusting and also noticed

her "I've been driving for several hours" hair. Brushing it with her fingers, she turned and headed towards the door with Liz limping behind her.

Liz grew up as an only girl in a family of five boys. She kept up with the best of them. Long before paint balling was around, she and her brothers would go in the woods and shoot tin cans with their BB guns. Once as she was bending over to re-stack the cans one of her brother's friends thought her rear end made a good target, leaving her with a permanent limp. It didn't stop her much though.

As Maddie and Liz walked towards the front door, Maddie stopped dead in her steps. She was unsure why all of a sudden her feet would no longer walk. Her heart began to beat faster. She faked an itchy foot and shooed Aunty Liz out the door, encouraging she would be right behind her. "Take a deep breath." She told herself as she expelled a bunch of air. Filling her lungs with a deep breath through her nostrils she headed out the weathered wood door only to stop there on the porch.

Standing beside the car stood Fred who was talking a mile a minute to Liz about his adventure to town. Fred could always out talk the best of them. Mid sentence he stopped looked up, noticing Maddie halted in the door frame and said "Maddie! Come here you. My you get prettier every time I see you." with waving open arms. "How are you doing?"

Maddie picked up her pace, and landed in the open arms. Planting a kiss on his cheek she said "Oh it is so good to see you," still holding on to him. Tears welded up in her eyes. Embarrassed that she began to cry, she began to blink to make them go away. Tilting her head to her shoulder she wiped the stray tears on her sleeve. "I must of got a little dust in my eye." she commented trying to get the attention off of her.

Uncle Fred could always hit her soft spots. Maybe it is because she lost her father at such a young age, and he seemed to fill the gaps in her father less life. Maybe it was because he truly cared for her and really loved her. It is the first time in a long time, that she actually felt love from a warm embrace. Leaving his grasp, she backed away, putting her hand out to William, who had stood there quietly during this warm homecoming.

"I'm Maddie" she greeted him as cheerfully as she could muster, trying to not make her voice all shaky from nerves and emotions.

"Will is what most my friends call me. Beautiful place you have here."

"Thanks, it is nice to meet you too. I'd show you around, but I just got here myself and it was a long drive. If y'all excuse me, I think I need to go and shower up and take a rest. Thanks again Aunty. So good to see you Fred. Let's do lunch tomorrow ok? And thanks again for cleaning up for me. Nice meeting you Will" Maddie said as she headed to the house, trying not to let them stop her.Her pace was quick and before any of them could finish saying good night the door shut behind her.

Maddie fell against the door, slid down and sat with her back against her door, hugged her knees, resting her chin on them and sobbed. She sat like that for hours, was it really hours? She actually was uncertain, but by the time she composed herself and got up, it was pitch black outside. Seeing Uncle Fred and hearing the love and concern in his voice, seemed to have opened the flood of gates. She had become callous towards the end of her marriage. Tears didn't come so easily anymore. Her heart was so broken. It felt good to just let it all go.

She headed towards the bathroom, which was just off the family room through the master guest bedroom. The room tiled in blue and green glass brought a feeling of serenity. One she hadn't felt in years. In the corner, surrounded by windows rested the original claw foot white tub, modernized with a shower head and curtain. Tonight was a bath night. She lite some candles to not just bring light but scent and symbolically burn away the bad feelings. Reaching her hand under the faucet to check the temperature caused her body to goose bump from the warmth. She eased her body into the water, letting her head fall below blanketing out the world around her.

Asleep with her head against the back of the tub, the candles burnt out, water less than warm, Maddie was awakened by the sound of her cell phone alerting her to a new voice message. "Wow I must have been exhausted to have missed that call" she said out loud as if someone else was in the room with her. She grabbed the teal blue bath sheet hanging on the steel rod. Wrapping it around her wet body, she stepped out of the tub carefully watching her step as to not slip on the wet tile. Holding the top of the two ends together she ran to her night stand where her phone lay charging.

She flipped the phone open, to reveal two annonymous missed calls, one new voice message and the time of 11:45 PM. Seeing the hour, she passed on even listening to the message and instead left the phone to charge. Shivering from the cold crisp mountain air, she headed to her suitcase resting on an antique trunk on the other side of the room. She unzipped the suitcase, pulled out her underwear, her favorite black tap pants and the U t-shirt she had since her freshman orientation of college. Bending over she flipped her hair over, wrapped it in the towel and dressed herself.

Realizing that the only thing she had eaten since lunch was the chocolate chip cookie Liz offered her, she headed to the kitchen to see what she could find to calm her growling belly. Plus she had left every light on in the house she decided it best to turn some off to conserve some energy. Padding her way on the wood floors to the kitchen she switched some lights off.

She stood at the open refrigerator expecting something to jump out at her and tell her "eat me." But nothing did. So she settled for a glass of milk and the cookies sitting on the glass jar on the counter top. Over the kitchen sink was a large window with a view of the lush mountain scenery as well as a nice view of the back porch. As she enjoyed her midnight snack, she was interrupted by the sight of something. It appeared to be the shadow of a person peering around the side of the house. She calmed herself by the thought of the many trees and animals that neighbored her. She'd seen enough horror movies and lived her own to know not to go outside and check it out.

Quickly she ran around turning off lights, locking and re locking windows and doors. Before heading into her room, she grabbed a kitchen knife, a book off the shelf, and shut and locked the door. The knife was for possible protection, and the book, to keep her company as she had napped several times already and freaked herself out sufficiently that she most likely wouldn't be sleeping well that night. After she locked the bedroom door she ran and jumped on the bed and under the covers.

After fluffing the pillows and finding a comfortable spot to rest her head, she grabbed the book off the night stand, and opened to chapter one. Somewhere between the first and second page, she fell asleep. The book fell to the floor with a loud crash. She startled up. Looked towards the ground, saw the book resting, turned off the bed side light and fell back to sleep, only to waken again by the crow of the rooster.

A rooster, what was a rooster doing in the mountains? Maddie didn't know that an acre to the side of her a family bought some land and decided to turn it into a farm. She discovered this as she was enjoying her morning shake of fresh berries, milk and ice. As she sat on the back porch again she saw some movement out of the corner of her eye. Same place she noticed it last night. Being braver by the sun light, she set her drink on the glass round table that needed a washing, and headed to the corner. The trees were cleared on that side, which she hadn't noticed driving up because of the angle of the house. Over a little ways was a scarecrow guarding the freshly rowed fields with tiny tips of green poking up. Even further away she saw a young lady, mid twenties, blond hair, wearing a bath robe watering some flowers on her back porch. She caught Maddie's eyes and waved.

Shutting off her hose, she headed towards Maddie. Out of the open porch door came a two year old little girl in a diaper and messed up pig tails. Deciding not to make the poor gal walk all the way over in her house slippers, Maddie started to meet her half way. "Hello" the young mother called. When they reached each other she said "How are you? Excuse my morning attire, not used to neighbors. I'm Chloe and that little one trailing behind me is Jessie." Jessie ran up and grabbed her mom's legs and hid behind them.

"It is nice to meet you. I am Maddie. You have all done a lot since being her not too long." It had been two years since Maddie last visited the family house.

"We have loved it here. The inside of our house is still a work in progress. But we wanted to get the garden and farm going so we could live off of it. I thought I'd be able to do more before Jessie started moving. But the older she gets the less I get done. Oh well, no big hurry. So how long are you visiting for?" Chloe asked.

"I am not sure, but planning on right now this being my permanent address."

"Oh we are so glad to have neighbors. Would you like some eggs? I was just about to go and gather some and there are always more than we can really eat?"

"I'd love some, but maybe another day. I have to run into town and get some things that I put off getting yesterday on my way up because I was so tired. Will you excuse me? It was nice meeting you and I am sure I will see you around."

"Same, have a great day." Chloe commented as she headed back to her red farm house. She put on her garden shoes and headed towards the coop with Jessie shadowing her.

Maddie went inside, forgetting the rest of her shake on the patio. She grabbed the first thing out of her bag, a black tank top dress, pulled it over her head. Put her brown hair up in a twist bun. Grabbed her keys, her phone and purse and headed out the door. Why was she in such a hurry? She really didn't know but just wanted to get out and get some stuff done. It was rare in her past to be able to just pick up and go, so she was taking advantage of that.

When she pulled up the the market she noticed a pay phone. Which reminded her that she hadn't called her grandmother to let her know that she had made it safely to Pleasant Valley. Instead of using her cell phone, she grabbed a few quarters and dialed the number that had been her grandparents for as long as she could pick up a phone.

Ring. Ring. Ring. "You have reached 345-5512 please leave a message after the beep." the automated voice said.

"Hey Grandmother its me. I am here. Safe. Call me. I love you." She hung up the phone and headed into the market, unaware of the blue chevy that pulled up next to her little red Accord.

Ring. Ring. Ring. "You have reached 345-5512 please leave a message after the beep." the automated voice said.

"Hey Grandmother its me. I am here. Safe. Call me. I love you." She hung up the phone and headed into the market, unaware of the blue chevy that pulled up next to her little red Accord.

The town center clock chimed. Maddie startled at the first cling, then began to count them. Nine. Knowing she left the house in a hurry she was still surprised to be out and about at such an early hour. Glad that the store opened at the early hour of five AM. She entered as a princes with the doors moving away for her, welcoming her in. Off to her right lined up well rested shopping carts. Grabbing one, she placed her purse in the seat where a young child should rest. Placing the purse on the little red seat she remembered that late last night she received a call.

She pressed one, then talk. The automated phone lady told her "You have one new message. You have three saved message. To listen to your new message press on." She followed the prompt.

"New message from 555-345-8811. Hey Maddie, why aren't you answering your phone. I know you are awake." the voice of Tim, left her standing still. Back in the not so good ol' days, she if ever was let to leave the house had to be in by her even earlier than high school curfew of 9 PM. He would always call her promptly at 8:45 to make sure she was on her way home. If she wasn't he always left a nasty message, and greeted her with his fists. She shuttered at the thought that he was checking up on her. Which reminded her that today would be a good day to get a new number.

She browsed through the store, grabbing odds and ends. Some toilet paper, more milk and some fresh fruit, filled her cart. The phone call left her far from hungry. Then she remembered she invited Fred, Liz and what's his name to lunch. She couldn't believe she had forgotten their nephews name. It'd come back to her. As she was stewing over his name, and trying to figure out what to fix for lunch, someone called her name.

She browsed through the store, grabbing odds and ends. Some toilet paper, more milk and some fresh fruit, filled her cart. The phone call left her far from hungry. Then she remembered she invited Fred, Liz and what's his name to lunch. She couldn't believe she had forgotten their nephews name. It'd come back to her. As she was stewing over his name, and trying to figure out what to fix for lunch, someone called her name. Unsure that someone actually said her name, she continued grabbing and dumping.

Maddie jumped as the caller shouted out her name even louder. Not recognizing the caller's voice, she turned hesitantly. There stood Liz's nephew. Great here she was thinking about him wondering what the heck his name was, and there he stood. Standing with his button fly 501 jeans, with a nicely fitted navy blue t-shirt that brought out the blue in his eyes. The florescent lights bounced off the sun kissed high lights of his dark blond hair. For just a brief moment she stared at him.

"Hey, how are you doing?" she said as she worked on remembering his name. "Steve, no Bill? Gosh what is his name" she thought to herself. "I guess I could ask him again, but I don't really want to be flaky." she continued the conversation in his head.

Will interrupted with "I'm doing fine thanks, just picking up a few things for Aunt Liz that Uncle Fred forgot last night."

"Oh that is nice of you." She said as she noticed she was holding a Tampax box in her hand. The red in her cheeks probably was as bright as the noon day son. Quickly discarding the box into the cart, she fumbled to find the words to fill the ever so eternal moment of awkward silence.

"Oh that is nice of you." She said as she noticed she was holding a Tampax box in her hand. The red in her cheeks probably was as bright as the noon day sun. Quickly discarding the box into the cart, she fumbled to find the words to fill the ever so eternal moment of awkward silence. A million things ran through her head, and not one of them made their way to her tongue. She felt more like a deer in headlights than an adult in a grocery store. Luckily for her Will had his own plans to bring some happiness to the situation.

"Hey I hear we are coming over for lunch. Is there anything I can do to help? I make a mean steak on the grill." Ok so he was totally diverting the situation and maturely acting. Score one for Will.

"You know I was just headed over to the meat department to pick up some steaks. I guess great minds think alike." She said as she turned her cart in the other direction and Will followed suit.

After checking out, the bagger loaded her car. She said thanks to him and waved to Will as she got in her car. As she put her hands on the steering wheel, she let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't that bad of a trip. Sitting in the car with her head down, thinking about all she was going to do for lunch prep, a car behind her began to honk, bringing her to attention. At some point she had put the car in reverse, and an eager shopper was awaiting her spot.

Lifting her hand to wave the driver as a "thanks, I'm headed out" she backed out of her spot.

Driving up the mountain roads calmed Maddie. A sense of serenity and calm engulfed her. She surprised herself at how excited she was getting for her lunch guests. She put her foot to the gas pedal a little harder, so she could arrive home a little sooner. As she was winding around the last bend her cell phone rang. "Crap." came out of her mouth, she had forgotten to change her number while in town. Oh well there was always tomorrow.

"Hello" she answered.

"Hey Maddie it's Liz. How are you doing?"

"Great thanks. Are you still planning on coming over for lunch?"

"Yes I was calling to see what time and what we can bring. We hate to improach upon you being that you have only been here a day."

"Oh I look so forward to the company. I will see you at one. And don't worry about bringing anything, unless you are in the mood to make some more cookies. I finished those off last night."

"Sounds good we will see you then."

Maddie pulled up in the driveway. As she got out, grabbing the few bags, she took a deep breath, soaking in the fresh mountain air. The trees canopied the house. The fresh flowers growing in the front beds seemed to greet her with a smile. Life is good she thought.

She unlocked the front door, headed towards the kitchen, and set the bags on the old white speckled Formica counters. As quickly as she could she put the groceries away. She pulled out the tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, olives and onions to make a green salad. Chopping away, she heard a knock on the door. Wiping her hands on a towel, she looked to see who it could be. She put the towel by the sink and headed towards the door.

"Coming."

She reached for the door, but before opening she decided to take a peek out the peep hole. There stood Will, holding some flowers and charcoal. Quite a combination she thought.

"Hey how are you? You are early." she said to him as she greeted him in. How presumptuous Maddie thought and yet was very flattered. "Come in."

"I figured you could use some help and the company." Will smiled and winked at her, handing her the spring bouquet of flowers. Maddie nodded a thank you and took them. She rummaged through the cupboards to find a vase. Filled a lavender one with green strips with water. Then placed the flowers in and set them in the center of the table.

"Thank you for the flowers. I am just getting the salad ready. If you don't mind, the BBQ is out the patio door, you could start the coals." pointing with a knife towards the patio door, she tried to urge him outside. She wasn't really up to conversation at the moment.

"I would be happy to." He opened the patio door with one hand while juggling the coals in the other. After setting the bag down on the table, he picked up her breakfast smoothie glass and headed back in the door. With out saying anything about the cup, he set it in the sink. Then he turned towards Maddie and asked "Do you have a light?" then he chuckled. "Sorry that was kind of cheesy wasn't it. Though I have always wanted to say that to a girl and light up a cigarette. I don't smoke but it always seems so romantic and charming on the big screens."

Maddie giggled, opened up the drawer next to the stove and pulled out a box of matches. "Here you go sir." As he grabbed them from her, their hands brushed together, sending chills down Maddie's back. Her hand recoiled. Will didn't notice. Or at least he pretended not to. "Thanks, I'll get the fire going." Maddie thought to herself "You already have."

As Will was attending to the fire, she began to set the table. She opened the hutch filled with her Grandmother's china, not her fine china but her more everyday china. That lady had enough place sets to use a different setting everyday of the week and not repeat. She loved her set that was pale blue with white ribbons rimming the plates. She pulled down the tea cups that matched and decided she'd use them to serve some ice cream in. So she pulled those down with the dinner plates and salad plates.

As she was setting the table, there was another knock at the door. Feeling comfortable in her situation she called "Come in." She assumed it was Liz and Fred. She was wrong. As the door flung open, she gasped and dropped one of her tea cups with a crash, shattering to pieces across the wood floor.

As she was setting the table, there was another knock at the door. Feeling comfortable in her situation she called "Come in." She assumed it was Liz and Fred. She was wrong. As the door flung open, she gasped and dropped one of her tea cups with a crash, shattering to pieces across the wood floor.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." said the strange middle aged man in overalls, dark brown hair, similar to Tim's, holding an ax. What is a grown man, holding an ax doing in her house? "Oh I am sorry again, I forgot I had this in my hands." he said lifting it up then setting it outside on the porch. "I'm Dan, Chloe's husband. She mentioned you were staying here. I was chopping some firewood. I finished up and noticed that you had some wood that needed some chopping, thought I'd come and see if I could do that for you. I really didn't mean to scare you. I guess I am a little absentminded, and forgot about the fact that I was coming in 'armed.' Here let me help you clean that up."

"Don't worry about it. I am just a little jumpy and clumsy." Maddie said as she swept the shards into her dust pan. Will entered to see if everything was OK.

"Hey I heard a crash is everyone alright" he asked.

"Yes, sorry I am Dan, and totally scared the poor lady half to death. I live next door."

Reaching out his hand to shake Dan's, Will noticed that black soot covered it. He pulled his hand away, wiped it on his leg and said "oh sorry charcoal" as he lifted to show his hand. "It is nice to meet you, I am Will. A friend of the family, more or less."

Maddie cleaned up her broken tea cup, while the guys chatted a bit. Tears began to poor down her face. "Oh no, not again." she thought. She felt like she was her own personal sprinkler system, set on a timer to water ever few hours, for a few hours. As their voices faded in the back ground she flashed back to a day a few weeks into her marriage.

They had just finished up a meal, that was not at all what Tim had wanted. He was mad that she had baked chicken instead of grilling it. The silence during the meal was ear numbing. After Tim's last bite, he shoved his plate towards Maddie, pushed away from the table, and as he headed towards the living room to catch the evening game he said "Don't ever fix that **** again." Maddie cleared the table. After she poured a little Dawn in the sink, she turned the water on. As the sink filled with soap suds, she began to sob, wondering how she had gotten herself into this mess.

With her head down staring at the bubbles, she felt the warmth of Tim's arm wrap around his neck. He pulled her into him, too tight. So tight she was having a hard time breathing. He kissed her cheek, which made her cringe and her whole body tighten. Reflexes made her head turn away from him. He grabbed her face and spinning her towards him. "I am sorry." he said, "you worked hard on making this dinner. I have had a long day at work. I am tired. Can you forgive me?" He seemed to verbally want to make things better, but everything in his body language said something different.

Laughter. Who is laughing. 'Oh I have company.' Maddie remembered as she came to the present. "I am glad to see you getting along so well." she said as she stood up from the floor with a dust pan full of glass and some dust bunnies. She headed over to the garbage can to dump her mess along with her recent memories of a time she wish she could forget.

"Dan, tell Chloe Hi for me. And thanks for chopping my wood. We will see you around I am sure." Maddie called as Dan headed for the door.

After the door shut, Will walked over to Maddie, who was barely standing on her own by the trash can. "Are you ok?" He reached over to brush a tear off her cheek, to which she recoiled.

"Yes. I am so embarrassed, but these were my grandmother's favorite tea cups and I am just sad that I broke one." she sort of lied. It was mostly the truth but not what made her cry. She hadn't known Will long enough to share with him her pathetic sob story. Though she surely felt like she had known him forever. Too bad he never came out to visit his aunt and uncle when they were younger. He was only a year or two younger than her.

"Maybe we can find one on E-Bay. You really can find anything on there." Will try to cheer her up, figuring he couldn't really pry any more.

"I wonder what is keeping Liz and Fred." Maddie changed the subject. The door knocked once more.

"I'll get it. I don't think we can afford any more broken tea cups." Will said as he headed to the door.

With a smile on her face, Maddie chimed, "Very funny." She liked how easy Will made her smile. It really had been too long since she had been around anyone that made her feel at ease and happy for that matter.

Will opened the door, and let in Liz who was carrying a trey of chocolate chip cookies, that must have just come out of the oven because their aroma filled the room, faster than the warm spring air. Will grabbed the cookies from Liz, snatching one and shoving the whole thing in his mouth. He put the trey down on the table. Fred meandered in with a pitcher of lemonade. He never was in a hurry. His motto "slow and steady wins the race."

"Sorry we are late, with my arthritic fingers, it took a long time to squeeze all these lemons." chuckled Fred, as he held up his pitcher of juice. His foot caught on the threshold of the front door, tripping him. Luckily he regained his balance before spilling his lemonade all over the floor. "That was a close one." he said. He headed towards the table and set his pitcher down.

"Wow this place hasn't changed in years." Fred said as he looked around. "You know if you are looking to do some updating, or remodeling, Will is the guy for you. His dad ran a hardware store and did construction on the side, and young Will here was his apprentice, before he decided to go off to school and get one of those fancy degrees. That's alright we will forgive him." Fred playfully slugged Will in the gut, a little harder than he had intended.

Will blushed a little. "I figured I'd better get a degree and some student loan debt to fit into the world a little better. What else needs to be done before lunch?"

"I think it has been awhile since the steaks have been checked on." Maddie said, pointing to the smoking more than normal BBQ grill.

"Oh man, so much for my showing off my grilling skills." Will said as he ran out the patio doors.

"What can I do to help you Maddie." Liz offered as she limped over to the kitchen. She instinctively, filled some glasses with ice and set them on the table before Maddie could tell her everything was fine and that she should just go and have a seat.

Will brought in his not totally burnt but well done steaks to the table. "At least none will be mooing for lunch." he said as he set them down. He pulled out the chair next to Maddie and joined the rest at the table. As he pulled himself into the table his legged brushed against Maddie's. She didn't move away from him, or cringe or shutter.

"Everything looks good. Thanks for joining me for lunch. Let's eat." Maddie said as she put her napkin in her lap.

"Everything looks good. Thanks for joining me for lunch. Let's eat." Maddie said as she put her napkin in her lap.

Maddie grabbed her fork and knife and began to cut into her steak. She tried her best to cut it with out too much of a mess, but the slab of meat was so tough, sweat began to drip down her face. With effort the knife went back and forth until the meat slipped off the plate, and flew half way across the table, knocking some salad off her plate. Everyone seemed to stop and look up. As if on cue they began to giggle.

"I am so sorry, I can't cut my steak."

Maddie's giggle turned to hard laughter, she even snorted. She wasn't alone. The rest of the lunch group caught the bug and were chuckling along with her. They laughed until their bellies hurt. Will adding to the humor, grabbed his steak and asked, "Anyone up for some hockey?"

"At least we got the salad and cookies to eat." Aunt Liz added to the group.

"I am so glad you all joined me for lunch."

"Sorry its not more edible" said Will.

"It's alright my doctor has said I should eliminate red meat from my diet. So thanks for helping me start following doctors orders." Fred commented with a chuckle.

After much banter the group finished up their lunch, what was left to eat. And began to clear the table.

"This was a lot of fun, even if it didn't turn out quite like we had planned. I had a great time." Maddie said as she washed the dishes by hand. Will grabbed the wet plates and dried them off. Liz put them away. Fred, well he wasn't apart of the assembly line, he sat on the recliner and read through a magazine.

After the lunch was over, and all had left. Maddie sat down on her couch and took a huge breath and let it out. She kind of made a noise like a balloon losing its air, and it caused her to chuckle.

She hadn't realized it but she was happy. She wasn't prepared to find such happiness so quickly. Deep down in her gut she knew it couldn't last. It couldn't, could it?

Reaching for the book sitting on the table, she had the feeling that some one was watching her. Must be her mind playing tricks on her, she told herself.

Glancing at the cover of the book, she opened to the first chapter. Not three sentences into it, her phone rang. Which reminded her that she forgot to go and change her number.

While setting the book on the coffee table, she stood up from the couch and headed to her purse that was sitting on the entry way table. Her purse moved a little with each ringing vibration. By the time she made it to the bottom of her purse to retrieve the phone, it stopped ringing. She looked at the screen, "1 missed call" it displayed.

Before she could flip the phone open to see who had rung, it started to ring again. Unprepared for that second ring she jumped a little. Relief came over her as she saw the familiar number.

"Hey mom."

"How are you sweetie?" her mothers warm voice asked.

"Oh great, I just had Fred and Liz over for lunch. Their nephew is staying with them for the summer, and he joined them too. I haven't laughed so hard for so long."

"I am glad to hear it. You do sound happy."

"Thanks. What's up?"

"Oh I just called to see how you are doing. And..."

"And...what? Mom??"

"Well I heard from Tim's mom that he left town yesterday. I don't want to frighten you but want you to be aware."

"I am sure everything will be fine." Maddie tried to calm not only her mom but herself. She glanced around, checking doors and windows. Wondering why she had had that strange feeling earlier. Did he follow her up here?

"Hey Mom, I will be fine. I do have to run though. I have to get into town and change my cell number. I will call you with the new one ok?"

"Alright but be careful. Sweetie, just be prepared for the un expected."

"I will Mom. Love you."

"Love you too."

She hung up the phone. Her heart was racing. Be prepared for the unexpected! She knew what she had to do. Before walking out the door she made sure all the doors were locked, window blinds down, and lights on. Grabbing her keys and purse she headed out the door.

As she had her back to the driveway and was locking the front door she heard footsteps up the front steps. Her hand was too shaky to finish locking the door. The keys fell out of her hands and landed with a clank on the wood.

She said a little prayer in her heart, quickly turned around to be startled by the little hand reaching up to her to hand her a flower.

"OH hi Jessie."

"Dis is for you. Me picked it."

"Thank you, that is so sweet of you. Where is your mom?" she asked as she glanced around and noticed Chloe coming around the corner. She was dressed in dark denim jeans and a v-neck lime green tee. As she was approaching she was waving with one hand and holding a bowl in the other.

"Hey Maddie. I made you some cookies. Are you okay? You look like you have seen a ghost."

"Yes thank you. I just startle easy these days." Maddie said, her voice still shaky from the startle.

She bent down and picked up the keys. Chloe handed her the dish of cookies.

"Thank you for the treat. And thank you for my flower. I better go put it in some water and set these in the kitchen. I have to run to town before the shops close." Maddie said. Glad to have an excuse to not chat right now. She had an overwhelming feeling to spill her guts. Now wasn't the time.

"I will stop by later when I get back. " She said has she walked inside and shut the door.

As she was heading for the kitchen she felt a little breeze. It was coming through the back pantry that lead to the side of the house. She cautiously walked through the kitchen and dropped the bowl on the floor, when she saw the pantry outside door ajar. She ran to it, slamming it shut and locking it.

With her back resting on the door, she tried to rationally figure out how it had opened. She must not have locked it. The wind must have forced it open when she opened the front door, sometimes little wind tunnels did that.

Soap Suds and Absentmindness: Maddie

2008-10-30T08:02:00.001-07:00

As she was setting the table, there was another knock at the door. Feeling comfortable in her situation she called "Come in." She assumed it was Liz and Fred. She was wrong. As the door flung open, she gasped and dropped one of her tea cups with a crash, shattering to pieces across the wood floor.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." said the strange middle aged man in overalls, dark brown hair, similar to Tim's, holding an ax. What is a grown man, holding an ax doing in her house? "Oh I am sorry again, I forgot I had this in my hands." he said lifting it up then setting it outside on the porch. "I'm Dan, Chloe's husband. She mentioned you were staying here. I was chopping some firewood. I finished up and noticed that you had some wood that needed some chopping, thought I'd come and see if I could do that for you. I really didn't mean to scare you. I guess I am a little absentminded, and forgot about the fact that I was coming in 'armed.' Here let me help you clean that up."

"Don't worry about it. I am just a little jumpy and clumsy." Maddie said as she swept the shards into her dust pan. Will entered to see if everything was OK.

"Hey I heard a crash is everyone alright" he asked.

"Yes, sorry I am Dan, and totally scared the poor lady half to death. I live next door."

Reaching out his hand to shake Dan's, Will noticed that black soot covered it. He pulled his hand away, wiped it on his leg and said "oh sorry charcoal" as he lifted to show his hand. "It is nice to meet you, I am Will. A friend of the family, more or less."

Maddie cleaned up her broken tea cup, while the guys chatted a bit. Tears began to poor down her face. "Oh no, not again." she thought. She felt like she was her own personal sprinkler system, set on a timer to water ever few hours, for a few hours. As their voices faded in the back ground she flashed back to a day a few weeks into her marriage.

They had just finished up a meal, that was not at all what Tim had wanted. He was mad that she had baked chicken instead of grilling it. The silence during the meal was ear numbing. After Tim's last bite, he shoved his plate towards Maddie, pushed away from the table, and as he headed towards the living room to catch the evening game he said "Don't ever fix that **** again." Maddie cleared the table. After she poured a little Dawn in the sink, she turned the water on. As the sink filled with soap suds, she began to sob, wondering how she had gotten herself into this mess.

With her head down staring at the bubbles, she felt the warmth of Tim's arm wrap around his neck. He pulled her into him, too tight. So tight she was having a hard time breathing. He kissed her cheek, which made her cringe and her whole body tighten. Reflexes made her head turn away from him. He grabbed her face and spinning her towards him. "I am sorry." he said, "you worked hard on making this dinner. I have had a long day at work. I am tired. Can you forgive me?" He seemed to verbally want to make things better, but everything in his body language said something different.

Laughter. Who is laughing. 'Oh I have company.' Maddie remembered as she came to the present. "I am glad to see you getting along so well." she said as she stood up from the floor with a dust pan full of glass and some dust bunnies. She headed over to the garbage can to dump her mess along with her recent memories of a time she wish she could forget.

"Dan, tell Chloe Hi for me. And thanks for chopping my wood. We will see you around I am sure." Maddie called as Dan headed for the door.

After the door shut, Will walked over to Maddie, who was barely standing on her own by the trash can. "Are you ok?" He reached over to brush a tear off her cheek, to which she recoiled.

"Yes. I am so embarrassed, but these were my grandmother's favorite tea cups and I am just sad that I broke one." she sort of lied. It was mostly the truth but not what made her cry. She hadn't known Will long enough to share with him her pathetic sob story. Though she surely felt like she had known him forever. Too bad he never came out to visit his aunt and uncle when they were younger. He was only a year or two younger than her.

"Maybe we can find one on E-Bay. You really can find anything on there." Will try to cheer her up, figuring he couldn't really pry any more.

"I wonder what is keeping Liz and Fred." Maddie changed the subject. The door knocked once more.

"I'll get it. I don't think we can afford any more broken tea cups." Will said as he headed to the door.

With a smile on her face, Maddie chimed, "Very funny." She liked how easy Will made her smile. It really had been too long since she had been around anyone that made her feel at ease and happy for that matter.

Will opened the door, and let in Liz who was carrying a trey of chocolate chip cookies, that must have just come out of the oven because their aroma filled the room, faster than the warm spring air. Will grabbed the cookies from Liz, snatching one and shoving the whole thing in his mouth. He put the trey down on the table. Fred meandered in with a pitcher of lemonade. He never was in a hurry. His motto "slow and steady wins the race."

"Sorry we are late, with my arthritic fingers, it took a long time to squeeze all these lemons." chuckled Fred, as he held up his pitcher of juice. His foot caught on the threshold of the front door, tripping him. Luckily he regained his balance before spilling his lemonade all over the floor. "That was a close one." he said. He headed towards the table and set his pitcher down.

"Wow this place hasn't changed in years." Fred said as he looked around. "You know if you are looking to do some updating, or remodeling, Will is the guy for you. His dad ran a hardware store and did construction on the side, and young Will here was his apprentice, before he decided to go off to school and get one of those fancy degrees. That's alright we will forgive him." Fred playfully slugged Will in the gut, a little harder than he had intended.

Will blushed a little. "I figured I'd better get a degree and some student loan debt to fit into the world a little better. What else needs to be done before lunch?"

"I think it has been awhile since the steaks have been checked on." Maddie said, pointing to the smoking more than normal BBQ grill.

"Oh man, so much for my showing off my grilling skills." Will said as he ran out the patio doors.

"What can I do to help you Maddie." Liz offered as she limped over to the kitchen. She instinctively, filled some glasses with ice and set them on the table before Maddie could tell her everything was fine and that she should just go and have a seat.

Will brought in his not totally burnt but well done steaks to the table. "At least none will be mooing for lunch." he said as he set them down. He pulled out the chair next to Maddie and joined the rest at the table. As he pulled himself into the table his legged brushed against Maddie's. She didn't move away from him, or cringe or shutter.

"Everything looks good. Thanks for joining me for lunch. Let's eat." Maddie said as she put her napkin in her lap.

Discombobulation

2008-10-30T07:56:00.000-07:00

I can't say the word let alone spell it, but I am in such a state of discombobulation.

Yeah really, if you don't believe me, look around my house. Kids sleeping on the floor, husband's, wait what is that a husband? not that we see him much, shoes on the floor.

Did I just step in bird poop?? Who left the back patio door open?

If you take your clothes off and they are dirty do they go on the floor??

I don't know where your favorite shorts are. If they are not in your drawer than they are in the dirty clothes....Oh they aren't there did you check under your bed? Or how about under the couch.

Trip fall.

Did you not see your brother crawling under your feet.

Watch out before shutting the door....WHAAAAA...Timmy's hand is there.

Emails, how many unread emails....couldn't be 517...I need to read them.

Bannngggg...what the heck? Timmy get out of the oven drawer, stop throwing the pans on the floor.

"MOMMMMMMMM"

Colonoscopy

2008-10-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

Because I know you like to know this is a true story as far as my memory serves me correctly: some details have been enhanced for your laughter and enjoyment..yeah right is there laughter involved in a colonoscopy? well with out further adieu the true story of my first colonoscopy.

They didn't call me Sister Job for no reason on my mission. I think having a stove blow up on me, getting a wisdom tooth pulled with no meds, going into anaphalyacitic shock, getting rashes, pneumonia, bronchitis, to name a few things that happened to me the first few months of my mission, I think earned me my name.

When I got to the point where I had to run to a bathroom praying that I didn't mess my pants (sorry) I knew I probably should be a little concerned. The cramping and the almost no warning about did me in.

One day we were in the middle of a discussion. The investigators asked me if I was ok. I was trying to hurry through the discussion so that I could run home to use our restroom. Well my body wasn't going to hold out that long. So I did what I didn't like to do, borrow someone's bathroom.

I went into their restroom, with my upset stomach and did my duty. Well to my chagrin there was no TP and this was definitely a TP moment. I called to my comp to bring me my black bag. She did and I pulled out the only paper product I could find, post it notes. Yes I used yellow sticky post it notes to wipe my bum. I am sure I still have paper cut scars to show for it.

Then, I had to flush the toilet. This instant, not un common in Brazil, there was no flusher, no tank. Which meant you had to fill a bucket with water and dump it in the toilet. Not a huge deal, used to it at this point. The problem was there was no sink in the water closet, but a shower head. So I turned on the shower head, and well it poured all over me and barely filled my bucket. By the time I got everything flushed and my hands washed, I was drenched not only with shower water but sweat.

When I walked out of the bathroom, the family asked me if I had decided to take a shower. Something I probably would have laughed at if I wasn't feeling so crappy. I said my thanks and we left.

After getting home I decided it was time to figure out what was going on with my intestines and called the mission president's wife. She set me up an appointment with the doctor. After visiting them, they figured I had some kind of bug in my intestines and needed a colonoscopy ASAP.

I left the office with a prescription for some IV bag fluid and laxatives. The night before the procedure I was to take, count them 6 laxatives and drink one IV bag. That went down not so easily. By 3 AM I was running to the restroom more than I had been before. By six am, and twelve bathroom trips later, I had to drink the other IV bag, and take 3 more laxatives. By the time 10 am rolled around, I just couldn't believe anything possibly could still leave my body.

Our AP's picked me up to take me to the hospital for the procedure. I only had to stop twice before getting there. They asked if we could stop by a wine store and buy me a cork. I laughed but told them it wasn't very funny.

I decided by the time we got the hospital there couldn't possibly any more bugs in me because they could not have held on.

No one had prepared me for how uncomfortable this procedure was going to be. Did I get any meds? I don't know. All I remember is laying down on a table, bearing my bum, and feeling like I was going to puke all over the table. I was able to hold it for a bit.

The uncomfortableness was over, well not totally because I hopped off the table and ran to the restroom, where my stomach couldn't hold on to its acids. And my rear end couldn't hold on to anything down there. So sitting on the toilet and holding a trash can, I finally got rid of all IV fluids and laxatives.

Maddie

2008-10-30T07:54:00.000-07:00

"Everything looks good. Thanks for joining me for lunch. Let's eat." Maddie said as she put her napkin in her lap.

"I am so sorry, I can't cut my steak."

"At least we got the salad and cookies to eat." Aunt Liz added to the group.

"I am so glad you all joined me for lunch."

"Sorry its not more edible" said Will.

"It's alright my doctor has said I should eliminate red meat from my diet. So thanks for helping me start following doctors orders." Fred commented with a chuckle.

After much banter the group finished up their lunch, what was left to eat. And began to clear the table.

Prepared: Maddie

2008-10-30T07:51:00.002-07:00

After the lunch was over, and all had left. Maddie sat down on her couch and took a huge breath and let it out. She kind of made a noise like a balloon losing its air, and it caused her to chuckle.

She hadn't realized it but she was happy. She wasn't prepared to find such happiness so quickly. Deep down in her gut she knew it couldn't last. It couldn't, could it?

Reaching for the book sitting on the table, she had the feeling that some one was watching her. Must be her mind playing tricks on her, she told herself.

Glancing at the cover of the book, she opened to the first chapter. Not three sentences into it, her phone rang. Which reminded her that she forgot to go and change her number.

Before she could flip the phone open to see who had rung, it started to ring again. Unprepared for that second ring she jumped a little. Relief came over her as she saw the familiar number.

"Hey mom."

"How are you sweetie?" her mothers warm voice asked.

"Oh great, I just had Fred and Liz over for lunch. Their nephew is staying with them for the summer, and he joined them too. I haven't laughed so hard for so long."

"I am glad to hear it. You do sound happy."

"Thanks. What's up?"

"Oh I just called to see how you are doing. And..."

"And...what? Mom??"

"Well I heard from Tim's mom that he left town yesterday. I don't want to frighten you but want you to be aware."

"Hey Mom, I will be fine. I do have to run though. I have to get into town and change my cell number. I will call you with the new one ok?"

"Alright but be careful. Sweetie, just be prepared for the un expected."

"I will Mom. Love you."

"Love you too."

She said a little prayer in her heart, quickly turned around to be startled by the little hand reaching up to her to hand her a flower.

"OH hi Jessie."

"Dis is for you. Me picked it."

"Hey Maddie. I made you some cookies. Are you okay? You look like you have seen a ghost."

"Yes thank you. I just startle easy these days." Maddie said, her voice still shaky from the startle.

She bent down and picked up the keys. Chloe handed her the dish of cookies.

"I will stop by later when I get back. " She said has she walked inside and shut the door.

Rain

2008-10-30T07:51:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite sounds is rain pelting on a roof, hitting so hard, you think one might break through and land on your head.

One of my favorite smells is a hot sidewalk after a summer rain, there is just something so refreshing about it. As if it has cleaned the air and the sidewalk and everything is all knew. If it is hot enough you can feel the rain water evaporating off of the streets.

One of my favorite sights is rain coming down in sheets and occasionally being blasted away by wind, turning it on its side.

One of my favorite feelings is that of rain dripping on my tongue, drizzling on my body.

I love rain. I love water in almost all its forms.

Rain. Lakes. Pools. Streams. Oceans. Rivers. Showers. Ice. Snow. Drinking water.

H2O what an amazing thing.

childhood

2008-10-30T07:50:00.001-07:00

If only I could bottle up childhood and sell it, I'd be a millionaire. Why is it that we have to grow up and worry about things?

I mean I have a debit card, isn't there always money on the other end? (looking at the nation's debt though maybe many of us haven't grown up to know that).

Can't I just eat some ice cream and yummy food and not wake up in the morning worrying about hitting the gym to run, because my goodness I will be playing chase all day and not bother to eat much because I am not hungry.

As a child, I can fall down and brush off the dirt and get up and go again instead of worrying if someone saw me and feel embarrassed.

I can cry for my mommy and in an instant she will be there to make it all better.

Being a child, even though we don't like it, someone pretty much always tells you what to do. I don't have to worry about making decisions or choices.

But as carefree as childhood seems, we'd never progress if we stayed there....kind of a bummer we have to learn and grow, but its all part of the plan and hey at least we get wiser...or at least we should.

Tools

2008-10-30T07:48:00.002-07:00

"Oh tool-dles!" the kids yell and a back pack appears filled with many items: a flashlight, screwdriver, book, chapstick and a shovel. "Which item do we need to help Minnie dig a hole?"

"A shovel."

"that's correct a shovel helps us dig." Said Mickey.

Wouldn't life be grand if we could just yell "oh tooldles" and out appears a little back pack with some items, one of which is the obvious correct one to choose from?

Well we kind of do. Heaven Father sent us to earth with our own "tooldles", the scriptures and prayer. All we have to do is open the scriptures, read and pray and the answer will be there.

The choice is ours.

Life is kind of great that way considering all the choices we get to make.

Self Made Prison

2008-10-30T07:48:00.001-07:00

Cold, dark and dampness surround me. Smells of chocolate fill the air. Chip crumbs cover the floor. Laughter and chatter shut out the silence. Armed with spoons, I sit and wait. Emotions are high. Stress beckons me near. I sit. I stare. I eat. Blindly. Unaware of what enters in. Hurriedly I shovel. Can't let anyone see me consume the calories. Can't let anyone see my pain. Can't let anyone know of my heartache. Can't bare to share.

Shoveling faster as the sound of little foot steps running towards me become louder.

"Mom, Mom, where are you?" I hear. I don't answer. I keep eating. Hiding in my cave. My mom's den, I like to call it.

Oh brain freeze. Eat faster. Eat faster. Finished. I wipe the remains of chocolate ice cream from lips and chin. Ok I lick the bowl too. Wipe my face again.

"I am coming." I say as I leave my little cave, that imprisons me. That keeps me from my goals. My desire to be healthier. Look better. Feel better. My cave, that keeps me locked out from the real world, but comforts me all the same.

Columbus: Sally's Tale

2008-10-30T07:47:00.000-07:00

"1492 Columbus sailed the Ocean Blue." Recited Jimmy as he ran around the house, homemade sail boat in hand. He was such a cute little boy with blond curly hair, still carrying around a little extra baby chub in his cheeks.

His mom Lisa watched over her energetic five year old, wondering how the rest of that little jingle went that she had learned as well in elementary school. Did it have something about the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria? Were those even the right names? Why was she worrying about this? She asked herself as she looked back down at her desk and the papers staring back at her.

How could Jimmy be so carefree, when she held the weight of the world on her shoulders. A good sign of a good mom has to be one where the kids don't know the trouble they are in. Their very financial situation was daunting.

James, her high school sweetheart, recently passed away. Sally, who had been a stay at home mom since she graduated from school, had no work experience. How was she to pay the bills? They were so young. Life still much ahead of them. They shared dreams. None of which included her being a widow at 25.

Looking at the past due statements made her wish she could hop on the flying sailboat in her house and leave this moment. Oh how she wished she was five, running around with only the cares of which toy to play with.

She knew that the only way out of this mess right now was to pick up the phone. She hadn't spoken to her parents since the day they forbade her to marry James. The day she ran away and eloped despite them. She hadn't even called to tell them that three months ago her love of her life was killed in a car crash.

The black receiver resting on the desk seemed to pulsate and grow larger as she looked back and forth between it and the bills past due. She reached for it. Sweat dripping down her face. Tears soaking her cheeks. Nervous jittery fingers pressed out the memorized number. After what felt like an eternity and only two rings she heard that sweet familiar voice.

"Hello Dalton's residence." Greeted Kay, her mom. She had always been so formal.

Sally couldn't speak, her throat filled with sobs.

"Hello, who is this. Are you okay?" Kay asked as she heard silence and tears in the receiver.

'I can't do this' Sally thought to herself and hung up. Grabbing the tissue from the red floral box, she wiped her eyes, blew her nose and began to sob into her hands.

"Mommy, Mommy are you okay? Do you miss Daddy today? I do. I wish he could help me finish painting my boat." The little boy looked with his giant blue eyes straight into his mom's face, grabbed his hands and put them on her cheeks. "I love you, Mom." He said as he gave her a gentle kiss. He hopped off her lap and started to walk away. Such a sweet little guy. She loved him so much.

"I love you too! Very much so." She couldn't even explain to anyone the love she felt for her boy. A mother's love is so strong. She began to cry harder. Her mother had to still love her right? Even if it had been six years since they last spoke. Sitting up a little higher in her chair she reached once again for the phone.

After just one ring she again heard that familiar voice.

"Hi....Mom...It's......me.....Sally." She words came out, a little shaky but out they came.

"Oh Sally!! Oh sweet Sally, I am so happy to hear your voice. How are you? You don't sound well. What is going on?" Even after the distance, her mother still knew her well.

Burdens Made Light: Sally

2008-10-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

With out hesitation she blurted out "James died, Mom." Which was followed by loud hard sobs.

"Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. How? When?" Sally's mom Ann asked and then waited for what was about five minutes for her daughter to answer.

"Mom its been three months. He was driving home from work. Another car hit him." She managed to say between deep breaths and gasps for air.

"Oh Sally, I am so sorry. I wish you had called sooner. What can we do for you." Ann was always willing to help and take care of people. Even if her daughter had married too young and with out their consent, she still loved her. She wanted to comfort her some how. She wished she could just reach out and hug her, give her a kiss and put a bandaid on her wounds and send her back out to play. Gone were those days and years. Years, it has been years since she had even spoken to her. If only she hadn't pushed her daughter away.

"Sally where are you living? I am going to come see you."

"Mom we live in Pleasanton, but you don't have to do that." Pleasanton was about six hours north by car of Sunnyvale.

"Yes I am." There never was any use telling her mom no, she never took it for an answer anyway, which is why they hadn't spoken for six years.

"Ok, I'd love to see you. But there is one other thing. I hate to ask. You did ask if there was anything I need. Well we didn't have a life insurance policy for James, and I have spent our savings already on paying everything." Sally began to explain. How do you not talk to someone for six years and then just ask them for money. Sally needed more than money from her mom right now too.

"Sweetie, I will be happy to help you out with anything. Can it wait until I get there? I am going to pack my bags and head out. As soon as you give me directions that is."

Address was given and good-byes where said.

Sally put down the phone, and lay her head on the desk on top of her folded arms. She cried. She even said a little prayer, thanking God for helping her make that call, for her mom in being quick to assist. She felt a calm comfort drape over her shoulders as if someone had just put a blanket over her back replacing the weight that seemed to be resting on them. This brought her a feeling that everything was going to be alright. It had to be.

Shout Out

2008-08-24T06:23:00.000-07:00

She browsed through the store, grabbing odds and ends. Some toilet paper, more milk and some fresh fruit, filled her cart. The phone call left her far from hungry. Then she remembered she invited Fred, Liz and what's his name to lunch. She couldn't believe she had forgotten their nephews name. It'd come back to her.

As she was stewing over his name, and trying to figure out what to fix for lunch, someone called her name. Unsure that someone actually said her name, she continued grabbing and dumping.Maddie jumped as the caller shouted out her name even louder. Not recognizing the caller's voice, she turned hesitantly. There stood Liz's nephew. Great here she was thinking about him wondering what the heck his name was, and there he stood.

Standing with his button fly 501 jeans, with a nicely fitted navy blue t-shirt that brought out the blue in his eyes. The florescent lights bounced off the sun kissed high lights of his dark blond hair. For just a brief moment she stared at him."Hey, how are you doing?" she said as she worked on remembering his name. "Steve, no Bill? Gosh what is his name" she thought to herself. "I guess I could ask him again, but I don't really want to be flaky." she continued the conversation in her head.

Will interrupted with "I'm doing fine thanks, just picking up a few things for Aunt Liz that Uncle Fred forgot last night."

"Oh that is nice of you." She said as she noticed she was holding a Tampax box in her hand. The red in her cheeks probably was as bright as the noon day sun. Quickly discarding the box into the cart, she fumbled to find the words to fill the ever so eternal moment of awkward silence.

Tea Cups and Happiness

2008-08-24T06:21:00.000-07:00

"Oh that is nice of you." She said as she noticed she was holding a Tampax box in her hand. The red in her cheeks probably was as bright as the noon day sun. Quickly discarding the box into the cart, she fumbled to find the words to fill the ever so eternal moment of awkward silence. A million things ran through her head, and not one of them made their way to her tongue. She felt more like a deer in headlights than an adult in a grocery store. Luckily for her Will had his own plans to bring some happiness to the situation.

"Hey I hear we are coming over for lunch. Is there anything I can do to help? I make a mean steak on the grill." Ok so he was totally diverting the situation and maturely acting. Score one for Will.

"You know I was just headed over to the meat department to pick up some steaks. I guess great minds think alike." She said as she turned her cart in the other direction and Will followed suit.

After checking out, the bagger loaded her car. She said thanks to him and waved to Will as she got in her car. As she put her hands on the steering wheel, she let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't that bad of a trip. Sitting in the car with her head down, thinking about all she was going to do for lunch prep, a car behind her began to honk, bringing her to attention. At some point she had put the car in reverse, and an eager shopper was awaiting her spot.
Lifting her hand to wave the driver as a "thanks, I'm headed out" she backed out of her spot.

Driving up the mountain roads calmed Maddie. A sense of serenity and calm engulfed her. She surprised herself at how excited she was getting for her lunch guests. She put her foot to the gas pedal a little harder, so she could arrive home a little sooner. As she was winding around the last bend her cell phone rang. "Crap." came out of her mouth, she had forgotten to change her number while in town. Oh well there was always tomorrow.

"Hello" she answered.

"Hey Maddie it's Liz. How are you doing?"

"Great thanks. Are you still planning on coming over for lunch?"

"Yes I was calling to see what time and what we can bring. We hate to improach upon you being that you have only been here a day."

"Oh I look so forward to the company. I will see you at one. And don't worry about bringing anything, unless you are in the mood to make some more cookies. I finished those off last night."

"Sounds good we will see you then."

Maddie pulled up in the driveway. As she got out, grabbing the few bags, she took a deep breath, soaking in the fresh mountain air. The trees canopied the house. The fresh flowers growing in the front beds seemed to greet her with a smile. Life is good she thought.

She unlocked the front door, headed towards the kitchen, and set the bags on the old white speckled Formica counters. As quickly as she could she put the groceries away. She pulled out the tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, olives and onions to make a green salad. Chopping away, she heard a knock on the door. Wiping her hands on a towel, she looked to see who it could be. She put the towel by the sink and headed towards the door.

"Coming."

She reached for the door, but before opening she decided to take a peek out the peep hole. There stood Will, holding some flowers and charcoal. Quite a combination she thought.

"Hey how are you? You are early." she said to him as she greeted him in. "Come in."

"I figured you could use some help and the company." Will smiled and winked at her, handing her the spring bouquet of flowers. How presumptuous Maddie thought, yet was very flattered. She nodded a thank you and took them. RUmmaging through the cupboards to find a vase, she noticed Will looking around. After finding the lilac vase she filled it with water. Then placed the flowers in and set them in the center of the table.

"What a view you have. This is really a great house." Will commented, as his deep dark eyes met Maddie's.

"Thank you. I really love it here. And thank you for the flowers. I am just getting the salad ready. If you don't mind, the BBQ is out the patio door, you could start the coals." pointing with a knife towards the patio door, she tried to urge him outside. She wasn't really up to conversation at the moment.

"I would be happy to." He opened the patio door with one hand while juggling the coals in the other. After setting the bag down on the table, he picked up her breakfast smoothie glass and headed back in the door. With out saying anything about the cup, he set it in the sink. Then he turned towards Maddie and asked "Do you have a light?" then he chuckled. "Sorry that was kind of cheesy wasn't it. Though I have always wanted to say that to a girl and light up a cigarette. I don't smoke but it always seems so romantic and charming on the big screens."

Maddie giggled, opened up the drawer next to the stove and pulled out a box of matches. "Here you go sir." As he grabbed them from her, their hands brushed together, sending chills down Maddie's back. Her hand recoiled. Will didn't notice. Or at least he pretended not to. "Thanks, I'll get the fire going." Maddie thought to herself "You already have."

As Will was attending to the fire, she began to set the table. She opened the hutch filled with her Grandmother's china, not her fine china but her more everyday china. That lady had enough place sets to use a different setting everyday of the week and not repeat. She loved her set that was pale blue with white ribbons rimming the plates. She pulled down the tea cups that matched and decided she'd use them to serve some ice cream in. So she pulled those down with the dinner plates and salad plates.

As she was setting the table, there was another knock at the door. Feeling comfortable in her situation she called "Come in." She assumed it was Liz and Fred. She was wrong. As the door flung open, she gasped and dropped one of her tea cups with a crash, shattering to pieces across the wood floor.

Maddie's Curfew- continued from some posts below

2008-08-18T13:52:00.001-07:00

Police Car

2008-08-18T11:50:00.001-07:00

"Oh mommy look what I drew." eagerly said Gregory as he ran across the room to show his mom who was seated in a chair rocking her newborn.

'My goodness did you do this all by yourself? It is beautiful. I love how you did the colorful square border. And your police car is the best car I think by far that you have painted. You are quite the artist." she gushed over her young son's art.

"I worked really hard on it in art. Ms. Spurlock said I was her best student she has had in a long time."

"I'd have to agree with that."

"Thanks mom."

"You are welcome. So how was your day at school." she said as she lifted her drowsy new baby boy to her shoulder to burp him.

Women Visiting

2008-08-18T11:48:00.002-07:00

"Did you see the dress she was wearing last night?" asked Margie

"I know I can't believe she even squeezed her self into that." replied Suzzette as she reached down to grab her napkin from her lap and dab the corners of her mouth ever so daintily.

"What was she thinking?"

"I am not sure, but all those gentlemen didn't seem to mind seeing her plunging neckline,and her bum nearly poking out the other end."

"Oh well, anyway did you have fun?" Margie asked trying to change the topic. Whenever she and Suzzette got together they tended to gossip and harp on their common friend Natalia. After all if it weren't for Natalia the two of them would have never met and become best friends. Natalia lived in their same apartment complex. Other than her keen inability to dress appropriately for her age and her size, she was a fun ball of energy that drew people to her. They enjoyed being around her for the same reasons they could only handle small amounts of her. But none the less, she was their friend, and they needed to be more kind in their remarks.

"I had a good time. You know kind of hard to know exactly where to stand, who to talk to, or what to do at those neighborhood meet and mingle things. Usually everyone talks with those they already know. And being a single gal, makes it even harder to mingle with those children crazed stay at home moms. I mean really how many times can I hear stories about 'sweet Johnny' and smile and say 'how darling', making it believable that I am even interested. I did meet a very charming man named Daniel."

"I noticed you talking with him. How did it go? Where does he live? What does he do?" asked Margie.

"Well he happens to live on my same floor. Can you believe it, I haven't ever seen him before and he has been living here for two years. Anyway, he is attending the U and grew up here. His family doesn't live to far away. Didn't he have the greatest butt in those jeans?" Suzzette wiped a little drool that dribbled out of the corner of her mouth as she thought of how handsome her new found love was. Well he wasn't quite her love, but her newest fascination, that she just couldn't wait to get her hands on.

"So are y'all going to be going out?"

"He invited me and a guest, care to join me? to go sailing this weekend in the Bay. It should be a lot of fun. He said he was planning on going out with his buddy Mike. Not sure what Mike is like, but it might be a lot of fun. Where is our food? I am starving. Though this raspberry lemonade is rather refreshing.

"I will think about it."

"Oh come on. Don't leave me alone on the seas with two handsome men."

"You can handle yourself I am sure. I'd like to but I just don't know if I am ready to start dating again."

"You got to be kidding me. It's been five months since you broke up with what's his face." Suzzette said not even wanting to mention Jeff's name, for fear of opening up the flood gates. Man was that a bad break up.

"I know but some days I just really miss him and can't even imagine loving anyone else." Margie and Jeff met in junior high, started dating their junior year of high school and had been inseparable for the last few years. Everyone thought they were going to get married, but Jeff just all of a sudden told her he was done, and moved to Mexico to join the Peace Corps. Must have been some mid twenties life crisis or something. No one quite understood why. Rumor has it though that he had been dating his family's nanny on the side and when she moved back home, he followed shortly after. But that is all rumors and gossip.

"I didn't ask you to fall in love with the guy, I just asked you to join us for some sun, fun, food and summer sea breeze. Come on what does a girl have to do to get you to come? If not for you what about me? Please? I will do your laundry for a week."

"How about a month?" Margie began to bargain.

"All right but only washing, no folding and putting away." Suzzette settled.

"Ok...oh look here comes our food."

"Finally."

Knowledge

2008-08-18T11:48:00.001-07:00

Knowledge can be

gained as well as lost.

Taught and shared

with those we love.

Knowledge can not

be seen or really heard.

Ever expanding,

never limited.

A struggle to gain,

a treasure to keep.

Helpful

Insightful

replenishable

Important to nurture it

Only thing we take with us.

Scenic Mountain

2008-08-18T11:47:00.000-07:00

Open Door

2008-08-18T11:44:00.002-07:00

"I didn't see your car." Maddie knew that although they were neighbors, the four miles of woods that separated them weren't a quick or easy little walk.

"I'm sorry Liz, my mind was drifting down memory lane. " replied Maddie.

As Liz took off her apron, hanging it on the pantry door, her attention drew to the sound of tires on the gravel driveway. "That must be Fred and William."

Maddie looked at the back wall into the mirror, noticing it needed some dusting and also noticed

Heart Break

2008-08-18T11:44:00.001-07:00

The Phone Call

2008-08-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

Asleep with her head against the back of the tub, the candles burnt out, water less than warm, Maddie was awakened by the sound of her cell phone alerting her to a new voice message. "Wow I must have been exhausted to have missed that call" she said out loud as if someone else was in the room with her. She grabbed the teal blue bath sheet hanging on the steel rod. Wrapping it around her wet body, she stepped out of the tub carefully watching her step as to not slip on the wet tile. Holding the top of the two ends together she ran to her night stand where her phone lay charging.

She flipped the phone open, to reveal two annonymous missed calls, one new voice message and the time of 11:45 PM. Seeing the hour, she passed on even listening to the message and instead left the phone to charge. Shivering from the cold crisp mountain air, she headed to her suitcase resting on an antique trunk on the other side of the room. She unzipped the suitcase, pulled out her underwear, her favorite black tap pants and the U t-shirt she had since her freshman orientation of college. Bending over she flipped her hair over, wrapped it in the towel and dressed herself.

Realizing that the only thing she had eaten since lunch was the chocolate chip cookie Liz offered her, she headed to the kitchen to see what she could find to calm her growling belly. Plus she had left every light on in the house she decided it best to turn some off to conserve some energy. Padding her way on the wood floors to the kitchen she switched some lights off.

She stood at the open refrigerator expecting something to jump out at her and tell her "eat me." But nothing did. So she settled for a glass of milk and the cookies sitting on the glass jar on the counter top. Over the kitchen sink was a large window with a view of the lush mountain scenery as well as a nice view of the back porch. As she enjoyed her midnight snack, she was interrupted by the sight of something. It appeared to be the shadow of a person peering around the side of the house. She calmed herself by the thought of the many trees and animals that neighbored her. She'd seen enough horror movies and lived her own to know not to go outside and check it out.

Quickly she ran around turning off lights, locking and re locking windows and doors. Before heading into her room, she grabbed a kitchen knife, a book off the shelf, and shut and locked the door. The knife was for possible protection, and the book, to keep her company as she had napped several times already and freaked herself out sufficiently that she most likely wouldn't be sleeping well that night. After she locked the bedroom door she ran and jumped on the bed and under the covers.

After fluffing the pillows and finding a comfortable spot to rest her head, she grabbed the book off the night stand, and opened to chapter one. Somewhere between the first and second page, she fell asleep. The book fell to the floor with a loud crash. She startled up. Looked towards the ground, saw the book resting, turned off the bed side light and fell back to sleep, only to waken again by the crow of the rooster.

A rooster, what was a rooster doing in the mountains? Maddie didn't know that an acre to the side of her a family bought some land and decided to turn it into a farm. She discovered this as she was enjoying her morning shake of fresh berries, milk and ice. As she sat on the back porch again she saw some movement out of the corner of her eye. Same place she noticed it last night. Being braver by the sun light, she set her drink on the glass round table that needed a washing, and headed to the corner. The trees were cleared on that side, which she hadn't noticed driving up because of the angle of the house. Over a little ways was a scarecrow guarding the freshly rowed fields with tiny tips of green poking up. Even further away she saw a young lady, mid twenties, blond hair, wearing a bath robe watering some flowers on her back porch. She caught Maddie's eyes and waved.

Shutting off her hose, she headed towards Maddie. Out of the open porch door came a two year old little girl in a diaper and messed up pig tails. Deciding not to make the poor gal walk all the way over in her house slippers, Maddie started to meet her half way. "Hello" the young mother called. When they reached each other she said "How are you? Excuse my morning attire, not used to neighbors. I'm Chloe and that little one trailing behind me is Jessie." Jessie ran up and grabbed her mom's legs and hid behind them.

"It is nice to meet you. I am Maddie. You have all done a lot since being her not too long." It had been two years since Maddie last visited the family house.

"We have loved it here. The inside of our house is still a work in progress. But we wanted to get the garden and farm going so we could live off of it. I thought I'd be able to do more before Jessie started moving. But the older she gets the less I get done. Oh well, no big hurry. So how long are you visiting for?" Chloe asked.

"I am not sure, but planning on right now this being my permanent address."

"Oh we are so glad to have neighbors. Would you like some eggs? I was just about to go and gather some and there are always more than we can really eat?"

"I'd love some, but maybe another day. I have to run into town and get some things that I put off getting yesterday on my way up because I was so tired. Will you excuse me? It was nice meeting you and I am sure I will see you around."

"Same, have a great day." Chloe commented as she headed back to her red farm house. She put on her garden shoes and headed towards the coop with Jessie shadowing her.

Maddie went inside, forgetting the rest of her shake on the patio. She grabbed the first thing out of her bag, a black tank top dress, pulled it over her head. Put her brown hair up in a twist bun. Grabbed her keys, her phone and purse and headed out the door. Why was she in such a hurry? She really didn't know but just wanted to get out and get some stuff done. It was rare in her past to be able to just pick up and go, so she was taking advantage of that.

When she pulled up the the market she noticed a pay phone. Which reminded her that she hadn't called her grandmother to let her know that she had made it safely to Pleasant Valley. Instead of using her cell phone, she grabbed a few quarters and dialed the number that had been her grandparents for as long as she could pick up a phone.

Ring. Ring. Ring. "You have reached 345-5512 please leave a message after the beep." the automated voice said.

"Hey Grandmother its me. I am here. Safe. Call me. I love you." She hung up the phone and headed into the market, unaware of the blue chevy that pulled up next to her little red Accord.

Moon Lit Beach

2008-07-10T20:43:00.001-07:00

Driving around the island, alone, with out children, Corrine and Eric, enjoyed the peace, the quiet, the company and the views.

"OH how nice it is to not have kids screaming in the back of our van." Corrine commented to Eric as she peered back as if to check on sleeping children. But it was actually empty, a first in a long while. A good empty that is, children safe at home with a well trusted sitter.

The moon was full and lit the island as if it were noon day. When off to the right Eric noticed a small secluded beach set in a little cove. He pulled over.

"Is something wrong?" asked Corrine as he pulled into some sand and stopped the care.

"No, I thought we could go for a walk rather than hit the movies tonight." Eric answered her. They had been on the island long enough that sometimes the beauty around them had gone unnoticed. Especially when they were running to swim team or off to Hula lessons. Life had already become life rather than vacation.

"Oh it is rather beautiful isn't it?" The both removed their shoes, put them on their floor boards and headed toward the beach. "Honk" went their car as if wishing them well on their little walk, and giving them a little security that the car was locked for the time being.

Hand and hand they walked. Enjoying the moon dancing off the waves. Not much was said. Not much needed to be said. Times of awkward silence were now welcomed moments of peace.

"Do you remember when we were in Florida for Thanksgiving the first year we were married? Sleeping on the floor in your parents house behind the living room couch? Getting up early to sneak off to the beach to watch the sunrise and it was so cloudy we couldn't see it rise?" Eric broke the silence with his memory.

"Yes," Corrine replied with a grin, "I remember that well. Such a carefree time."

Pizzaria

2008-07-10T20:41:00.002-07:00

Natalia opened the store early, unlocking the door with one hand while balancing a coffee in the other. For a lunch bistro they sure opened too early. It was just a little after nine, and though she was a few minutes late, she figured it would be alright. She could get things prepped for the 10:30 rush.

As she pulled down chairs, her thoughts raced to the night before, performing on stage. That is why she came to New York, to perform, not to set tables and shoe pigeons off of tables. But she had to do something to pay the bills.

She received a standing ovation. It was her first night, with her first lead role. One she had longed for since she was a young girl, performing for the neighbors as she and her child hood friends put on plays. The applause were still clapping in her head. Her cheeks hurt from still carrying her smile.

Her thoughts were brought back to the task at hand, as she dropped a set of silverware to the ground with a great big clank. Too which a set of applause and a "bravo" came from behind here. How long had Dan been standing there?

"Good Morning" Natalia replied as she bent down picked up the silverware and shoved it in her apron. "How are you doing, Dan?" she said to the six foot tall brunette, with the most stunning hazel eyes, and perfect straight nose. She had a slight crush on the 23 year old cook.

"Doing well but not as well as you it appears. The show went well?" he asked.

"Oh Dan it was wonderful. Just what I had always dreamed about. Sure made what I am doing here all worth it." she replied, as she continued to set the tables. She rearranged a few flowers in the vases, making them appear more freshly picked.

The aroma of tomatoes and basil filled the air, causing a growl to roar in her belly, reminding her she hadn't eaten anything unless you count the cream in the coffee. She snatched a roll, and quickly at it.

The chimes of the door let her know time to work.

Skiing

2008-07-10T20:41:00.001-07:00

Slipping falling curving down,
lots of people all around.
Bitter cold, sun burnt nose,
ice is forming on my toes.

I don't like skiing
I tried to let him know.
But this man I can't let go.

Hurry faster, a little snow plow
I am not sure but I do know now,
I'd like to sit by a warm fire,
of this sport I sure do tire.

My feet sure hurt,
you'd think these shoes for their cost
would feel more like my summer galosh.

Watch out below,
I lost control,
crashing falling here I go.

Blindly Walking

2008-07-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

Coni dressed in her wedding gown, holding onto a little lantern, eyes blindfolded, followed the sweet soft low voice of her new husband leading her through the forest.

"Oh Jared, where are you taking me. I have had this blind fold on for over an hour now. Can I please take it off? It is pitch black out anyway, not that I can see much. Please?"

"Just a few more steps, trust me. Just keep following me." He said as he held branches out of his bride's way.

"My dress is going to be filthy by the time we get to where ever it is we are going."

"Nothing a dry cleaner can't fix."

"Funny. Why didn't you insist on me changing my dress?"

"Because you look so beautiful and it isn't every day that you get to wear that dress and hike through the mountains." He said with a smirk.

"True, are we there yet dear?"

"Almost. Take three steps up. There you go. Careful." He encouraged her as she stepped up the stairs, holding the light with one hand and the other holding her dress, as she tried not to trip. She thought how great he was being so surprising and romantic but at this point she'd rather not break a leg or something. She got to the last step.

Jared opened the door to a beautiful victorian home, kind of out of place in the mountains. The decks wrapped around both levels, the paint was fresh and wait, and the sent of it proved it.

"Stop, please." he told his bride, as he swooped her up in his arms, and carried her over the threshold. He gave her a kiss, set her down and took off her blind fold.

With another kiss on the cheek, he whispered in her ear "welcome home, Mrs. Johnson. Welcome home!"

"What do you mean, you are kidding me, no really this is our home? How....but...Oh Jared, I love it."

"I love you too." He said and the two embraced.

Paper Clip

2008-07-05T11:31:00.001-07:00

Frantically Jill pulled open each an every drawer, moving around papers and pens and pencils, trying so hard to find a paper clip. Her final paper was do, she was out of staples and had to find something to hold her report together. With five minutes until her class, she had no time to run to the book store. Why hadn't she cleaned out her desk last night? More importantly why did she wait until twenty minutes before class to print up her project? What was she thinking. She didn't like to be late.

Prompted by a quiet voice in her head, the one she usually ignored, she lifted up the unused organizer to find a paper clip stuck in the edge of the drawer. She quickly fastened her 50 page print out, grabbed her back pack and headed out the door. After the door slammed shut and locked on her, she realized she didn't have her car keys. Man, this day sucks she thought to her self.

With her running shoes on, she hoisted the back pack on and took off running. Huffing and puffing her whole way up the hill to school, she thought about how she should have picked an apartment closer. Noticing the filled parking spots, she thought it ended up being a good thing she was running. Making a mental note to do a few more minutes on the treadmill this week at a little faster pace to help her get to school on time.

The campus was fairly empty, meaning only one thing, classes had started. When the McKay Building was insight she took her pace from a run to a fast walk so to catch her breathe and wipe the sweat off her brow. Even though it was only 50 outside, the quick race to school left her pretty drenched.

She entered the building, ran up two flights of stairs, and into her classroom. "Please pass your papers to the left and then forward" said the professor.

Jill found her seat and reached down into her back pack to pull out her paper, that she had shoved in on her way out. As she pulled it out, the paper clip popped off, flying into the air and landing who knows where. All the while the papers fanned out and spread their way onto the floor. As fast as the papers fell, her cheeks reddened. She bent over to gather her papers, while doing so she passed gas. And we aren't talking the silent and deadly, we are talking the loud and proud. If the other students hadn't been staring at her already, they were now.

She kept her head down, slowing down her gathering process, to avoid eye contact and any further embarrassment. Under the seat in front of her, her paper clip rested. She tempted to reach and bend further, only to have the chair slip out from under her, landing her smack on the floor, head under the chair in front of her and feet stretched out behind her, surrounded by her papers.

At this point the professor stopped talking and all eyes were on her. She didn't know what else to do. Proudly she picked up the paper clip, organized the papers, attached the clip, stood and took a bow.

Look Up!

2008-07-05T11:30:00.001-07:00

The whole town looked up in awe. Wendy Dow Asher teetered above as she did her job. Dogs barked and tried to warn the on lookers.

Ms. Fanny Noitall dressed in purple and her fanciest Sunday hat bewildered that it was happening, reached into her purple purse for her phone to call Ms. Nancy Tailtale to let her know what was going on. But Ms. Nancy Tailtale was standing there watching as well, from across the crowd.

Helicopters began to circle the area. The crowd grew larger and larger to see the spectacle fifty floors up.

Little Johnny and Jacob Myers dressed in matching yellow shirts and overalls, were playing by the statue when their attention to running around in circles was stopped by the "oh no's and oooohh dears..." of the crowd distracted them drawing theirs eyes upward.

Mayor Seymore Buns with his traditional Hawaiian Lei attempted to calm the crowd. "It is ok. Please remain calm." he said with arms up, patting the air, as if he were patting each and every back. While Officer Darrin Fort Ruble stood with his arms crossed paying more attention to up above rather than the crowd he was suppose to be controlling, the wind blew. The crowd 'eweed.'

"Oh don't" screeched Sally Sue Somebody, as she lifted her hands to cover her eyes. The wind blew stronger.

And then she did it. No one could believe it. Everyone held their breath as they watched. Windy wiped the windows and left a streak.

Sugar Bowl

2008-07-05T11:29:00.001-07:00

Obedience

2008-07-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

During our Christmas break this year my Husband and I had the distinct feeling that we needed to put our home on the market. Unsure as to the reason, we faithfully obeyed. We knew we were to sell our home, we didn’t know where we would be living afterwards. So we began the preparations of selling the home, repainting, carpet cleaning, cleaning out and staging. We thought the Lord was helping us and encouraging us to get closer to Eric’s work, save money on gas and get our children in to a better school. Well a week or so before we listed the house, Eric’s company approached him about coming to Hawaii for work. We felt the calm assurance that this is what Heavenly Father was preparing us for. It wasn’t the easiest of choices, leaving behind friends, family and most of our worldly treasures. But we knew that the Lord had begun to prepare the way for us, and that we’d have faith that He would make it all work out for us.

It has been a wonderful experience so far for us. We have enjoyed the beautiful surroundings and the many out door activities we have been able to do. Coming from Texas we are enjoying the cooler weather as well.

As my family and I hiked Diamond head yesterday. I was quick to call out instructions to my kids, stay to the left, watch out for the other hikers, slow down, keep going, hold to the rail. I didn’t say that all because I am a bossy mom, well maybe I am but to protect my children from hurting themselves and others around them. I wanted them to be safe and to enjoy the hike. As well as a long the path there were signs, warnings to stay on the trails. My kids would ask “why can’t we go there, or why is there a fence there?” I would remind them that the safest place for us was on the path that had been set out before us to follow and stay on. There were hand rails to grab a hold of in case we lost our balance. And there were many others a long the path that were there giving us encouraging words as we were going up and there were others that appreciated our encouraging words as we were heading down.

Such is life. We have our Heavenly Father setting out rules, commandments, not because he wants us to be miserable, but for our own safety and happiness.

In Moses 1:39 we read: 39 For behold, this is my awork and my bglory—to bring to pass the cimmortality and deternal elife of man.

He gives us guidelines and warning signs. As we hike through life, with its many ups and downs, Heavenly father gives us spiritual hand rails and spiritual warning signs to help us make it safely to our destination. But with all the warnings and commandments if we don’t obey we run the risk of falling off the path, either getting lost or hurt, or even worse.

“President Ezra Taft Benson has stated that “obedience is the first law of heaven.”
How do we show obedience?

I have been thinking a lot about obedience to the commandments of God. And came up with a few ideas of how we can be obedient or more importantly how we learn obedience:

1. From the scriptures the written laws
2. From the Holy Ghost
3. From others like our parents, leaders and friends.

Thinking back on our hike to Diamond head the first thing to which we show obedience to was the written guide, and the signs posted for all hikers to read.

Heavenly Father has given us written guidelines and signs, our scriptures, our ensigns. These written words have been given to us to guide us in our hike of life. As the guide book gives us directions, information and instruction so do the scriptures and words of the prophets. We have also been given a written law of basic commandments to which we are to obey.
From the scriptures, from the words of our modern prophets, we are warned, taught and reminded of how we should be living. We gain the knowledge through their words of how to be obedient. We learn what we should and shouldn’t be doing, and with our faith we follow those teachings and obey.

The wonderful thing about Heavenly Father is he knows us his children. He knows we all have different learning styles. We may gain the knowledge from the scriptures, and sometimes we read and re read and well we keep relearning, it is part of life. But Heavenly Father knows that. And for that reason he has given us The Holy Ghost to help us along the way to be obedient and make the right choices.

A few weeks ago we moved here from Texas , and a few days later, we went to the park. My son Gregory was playing on the monkey bars. I had been talking with friends and felt I should look for Greg. There he sat at another table with his head down. He wasn’t crying but my first impression was he was feeling a little lonely. I asked him what was the matter. To which he replied. “I fell and broke my arm.” Mind you he had just got a cast off his other arm. After talking with him, trying to really figure out if it was broken or not. He said to me “Mom I know it is broken.” And I asked, “are you sure?” To which he replied, “yes because Mom I was playing on the bars and Heavenly Father told me to get down because I was going to get hurt doing what I was doing. Mom I didn’t listen because sometimes I get those feelings and don’t listen and nothing happens. But He told me I was going to break my arm. And I did.” Sure enough he did.

I know he didn’t break his arm because he wasn’t obedient, but that if he had followed the promptings of the spirit, he would have avoided breaking his arm. What a hard lesson to learn at such a young age.

We have been given the Holy Ghost to warn us and remind us of the things we should be doing, to avoid getting hurt, both physically and spiritually, at times. The Holy Ghost not only warns us and reminds us to be obedient, He also teaches us and testifies of Christ.

The apostle Paul teaches us that after Christ Acts 1: 2 Until the day in which he was taken up (taught the people), after that he through the Holy Ghost had given acommandments unto the apostles whom he had chosen:

He does the same for us as He did for his apostles in his day, teaches us through the Holy Ghost.

The third way we are encouraged to be obedient is through others, like our parents and leaders, and others around us. As we were hiking yesterday people would say things like “it’s a little steep around this corner.” Or “just a few more feet.” Or watch your head around that. Some people even commented that we were brave and amazing parents to be bringing our kids up the hill, I was holding Timmy and Eric held Emily’s hand.

A great thing about this life is we don’t have to do it alone. Heavenly Father has sent us here to live in families, and be surrounded by people, people who love us and want us to succeed. As our fellow hikers were nudging us along, giving us smiles, encouraging us to reach our goals, so are those around us, at least they should be.

Growing up in Northern California we practiced monthly earthquake drills. We even experienced a few small ones often. But one year 1989 we were hit pretty hard. My family lived a mile from the epicenter. The Sunday before this quake we had had a Sunday school lesson on obedience. The day of the quake, my friend Maren just ran up stairs to grab a snack and then headed back down stairs to do her homework. Just after she sat down and started doing her homework, her mom called to her to come back up and help her with getting dinner ready. Maren mentioned that she sat there and thought I should just let my mom know I need to finish this assignment, and then I will go help. But then she thought about the Sunday lesson, and started to hum “when my mother calls me quickly I’ll obey.” So instead of finishing up what she was doing, she ran upstairs. As soon as she reached the kitchen, the quake hit, and her house collapsed to one floor. Had she not been obedient to her mother’s call, she would have been trapped under the house.

Not every time we are obedient to our parents, will we be saved from a major earthquake or other natural disaster, but we will be saved from spiritual disasters. We are promised in the scriptures that if we honor, obey and follow our parents are days will be long upon the earth. It is important for us to obey our parents in the scriptures we read:

Eph. 6: 1
1 aChildren, bobey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Col. 3: 20
20 aChildren, bobey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

We will be blessed as we obey the teachings of our parents, as well as our leaders in the Gospel. We show our obedience by faithfully following them and obeying them.
How as parents and teachers do we teach obedience?
Elder Joseph B. WirthlinOf the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in a conference address to the aaronic priesthood he shared the following story on obedience.
“I observed a marvelous display of obedience during a recent visit to a large cattle ranch in Argentina . Early one morning, the gauchos brought forty horses into a corral to select their mounts for the day. Gauchos are like cowboys in the United States . Each gaucho went into the corral and whistled softly like this [whistling]. This established their presence. When the horses heard the soft whistling, they lined up quickly near the fence, facing the gauchos. The horses held their heads high, kept their eyes constantly on their masters, and kept their ears forward in an alert, receptive stance. They gave complete attention and appeared to be anxious to serve. They quickly organized themselves into a line as if for a full military dress inspection or review. The gauchos stepped back out of the way and whistled again. The horses circled quickly to the other side of the corral and lined up facing the gauchos. They looked as if a drill sergeant had called them to attention. Each gaucho chose his mount for the day’s work and walked up to the horse he had selected. The others stayed in line waiting for their assignments.
When I asked how the gauchos taught the horses to be so obedient, I was informed that their training started when the horses were colts. Each one learned from its caring mother and from other mature horses. The gauchos began training the colts when they were young, with kindness, never using force of a lasso or a whip.
Watching this display of obedience, I thought of you Aaronic Priesthood brethren and how you are taught by your mothers, like the two thousand stripling sons of Helaman, and by caring fathers and priesthood leaders. I thought of you following their good example, disciplining yourselves, and keeping yourselves alert—willing to serve your Lord and Master as He chooses and calls you.”

As parents and leaders it is important for us to lovingly guide and direct our children whether ours by birth or calling. We need to encourage them to obey, not force them to obey. We need to teach them obedience through our own examples. And through our obedience we will someday return to live with our Heavenly Father which is our end goal.
As we hiked yesterday, to our goal of reaching the top, we stopped took some breaks, talked with other hikers, and did our best to stay on the path. We made it without too many tears, and lots of sweat. But the views from the top, were so worth the effort to get there. And so is it with life, if we continue to be obedient to the commandments our blessings and rewards are as sweet and as beautiful as those that we saw yesterday.

We will be blessed if we remain obedient to His commandments and teachings.

1. --Mosiah 2: 22
22 And behold, all that he arequires of you is to bkeep his commandments; and he has cpromised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth dvary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do ekeep his fcommandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

As we are obedient to the commandments we find in the scriptures, when we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost and when we are obedient to our parents and our leaders, we are promised to be blessed in our lives.

I am grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who gives us several ways to help us stay obedient. I am grateful to a Savior who helps us when we aren’t always obedient. And to which I leave my testimony in His name, Amen.

Sunday Morning

2008-07-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Come on kids we need to get going, or you will miss Sunday School." said mom as she marched out the door with her three little kids in a row like baby ducklings. Tired of bringing them alone, she ignored her lounging husband reading the paper in the recliner. "Why can't you ever just get yourself dressed and help me once with Sunday mornings. It sure would make my life easier." she murmured to herself, almost audible to her husband, who surprisingly replied, "I am sorry dear did you say anything?"

"No dear. Have a nice morning." she said smugly not even looking at him, dressed in his most comfortable pj's, robe and fuzzy slipper. He was chuckling at the funnies as they shut the door.

Jr. asked as they got into their silver mini van, "Can I stay home with Dad next week? It isn't fair that I have to go to church and he doesn't!"

"Oh be quiet" quickly responded Priscilla, "Dad is the one missing out not you."

"That is so not true. I could be home playing dinoquad or the WII instead of listening to Sister Hairy Mole Face teach the same old lessons over and over again."

"Kids, kids, now please, lets keep this a happy sabbath." Mom chimed in.

"But it's just not fair." Jr. replied.

Oh if they only knew, mom thought, they have no idea of whats not fair.

Gridlock- writer's block

2008-07-05T11:25:00.002-07:00

Gridlock, live stock, aren't they both the same?
Stuck in the same spot, surrounded by others,
close together, trying to go somewhere, going no where.

What the heck am I talking about....I don't really know...
Maybe this makes more sense for someone in Idaho.

I haven't slept much, but saw much fuss on the email with more chimming in this week. So I thought why not finish my prompts before I just take a peek.

Don't you love this, my kids are playing and have a friend over, I want a nap. My husband is in traffic...and well I think my time is up.

Hey Diddle Diddle

2008-07-05T11:25:00.001-07:00

Adam, Corrine and Alyson sat for hours on end in their bedroom playing with their toys. It was amazing the relationship these three siblings shared. Even at night the three of them slept sardine style in Corrine's twin bed.

In the corner of the red heart wallpapered room, sitting on top of the green shag carpet was a white doll bunk bed. The dolls were snug under their covers while Corrine and Alyson encouraged Adam to repeat the nursery rhyme painted on the end of the doll bed.

"Hey Diddle Diddle de cat an de fiddle de cow dumped ober de moon. The wittle dob bark, such joy de dish ran away wif de sboon." Adam said, with is cute little two year old lisp.

"Again." encouraged the little blond girls all giggles.

"Hey Diddle diddle de dish ran way wif de sboon." Adam shortened the verse as he still received a captive giggle and applause from his four and six year old sisters. This went on for several minutes. Adam sang, the girls clapped and giggled.

Yellow Polka Dot

2008-06-19T20:08:00.002-07:00

Theirs had been a love affair that started at a young age, when life was still simple and care free. It was the summer of 45. Their grandparents lived on the same block and it so happened that they both were visiting them for the summer. At first ten year old Sheri hesitated to follow her grandmother persistent encouragement to go and say hi to Johnny.

After a few days of summer boredom, she wandered over. More afraid of boys than interested in them, she knocked on the door. Johnny awkwardly opened the door, as he said "hey whatcha doing?"

"I was going to head over to the park on my bike and was wondering if you wanted to ride with me."

She thought from his slow response he was going to say no, but after much consideration he replied "Sure, let me tell my Grandma, and grab my bike."

The rest of the summer they were inseparable, minus a few mandatory family activities. Their friendship grew strong and the day of parting was sad. They exchanged addresses and went on their way, several thousand miles away, him California, her New York.

Many letters and years later, a letter came to Johnny from Sheri stating, "My train arrives at 3:34 PM in San Fransisco. I'll be wearing a Yellow Polka Dot dress. Just like the bikini I wore many years ago." Johnny smiled at the thought of the yellow bikini and the song that they made up that hot summer day.

As the train pulled into the station, he felt as antsy and anxious as he did that day he opened the front door to find her standing on the porch. The screeching of the brakes changed his thoughts to wonder if she really would step off the train. Would they finally see each other after 13 years?

The doors opened. There she stood, a vision of loveliness with her dark curly hair brushing her shoulders. She smiled. He smiled. She threw her bags to the ground, and youthfully ran to him. They embraced. And finally they shared in their first Love's kiss.

Squirrels

2008-06-19T20:08:00.001-07:00

Friday night we spent our first official night as a homeless family. Grant it we were able to sleep the night in the Holiday Inn on Town Lake, but none the less we were homeless. We as a family slept cozy in two double beds. When the sun broke through the curtains opened by my son, it hit me. We will never live in that house again. We don't know where we will be living next, well minus the part that at least we know we will be in Hawaii for six months, yet that is surrounded by uncertainties that are enough to drive me batty. So I lay in the covers, feeling light from several burdens of house selling, cleaning and packing, but feeling at the same time heavy with the uncertainties of life.

Kids- amazing creatures they are- were ready to face the day, and mostly face the swimming pool 5 stories below, well after they finished their breakfast, because night sleeping in the hotel wouldn't be complete with out the breakfast, we braved the breakfast buffet, well I guess better yet the staff braved four kids throwing cups on the floor, spilling food all over and requesting many odd things.

Breakfast was done and instead of heading to the pool, I thought it would be a great idea to go for a walk around Town Lake, actually the new name for the lake is Lake Lady Bird, after the former first lady. Anyway so we head out on the trail, well run by health enthusiasts. Along the path, the kids pointed out many things, like the lake, or runners with dogs, yes the exciting little things in life. We even saw a tree that the trunk looked like a melted candle, it was rather cool and I wish I had a camera, cuz it was really cool.

Anyway as we were walking, no kidding, a little squirrel, walked along the rail and then stopped. He looked at me, then at Bethany and then over to Gregory. Then he hopped off the fence and just stood right at our feet. I guess he figured little kids equals crackers or snacks, sorry little squirrel I am not that prepared of a mom.

The rest of the way the kids kept talking about the squirrel that just came up to us. As well as they named him Theodore because he was kind of chubby, and we had to hunt for Alvin and Simon who were fairly easy to find.

Word Fun-A

2008-06-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

Anxiously awaiting a word about appraisal.

Anxiety arrousing,

armpits perspiring,

adrenaliline ample,

ain't a way to anticipate life's angles.

the book

2008-06-19T20:04:00.000-07:00

The book was thick and black and covered with dust. It had been years since she had taken it off the shelf where it had sat more as a decoration than education. What had prompted her to retreive it? It couldn't have been the urge for a light beach read, for this puppy was filled with 1000 pages.

She held the book in her hands, and bent down close to the cover and blew. Dust flew in the air as she coughed a little chocking on the recently released particles. With the palm of her hand she swept off the remaining filth to uncover the title, Possession. Cracking open the book, she took half of the pages in her right hand and thumbed through them as if looking for something particular. Fanning the pages with her thumb she landed on page 687. There in the crack was a little hand written note on a torn sheet of paper.

The writing was that of her dear mother who had passed away a few years earlier. The sight of the print brought fond memories and tears. She never recalled seeing the note before, though it was addressed to her. "To my dearest Diane, I am sorry for the way things have gone for you in your life. If I could change things I would. Know I love you and that I will always be there for you. Love, Mom PS Have fun tonight"

Chick Chick

2008-06-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

"Here Chicky Chicky" called little Timmy. He had been standing out by the barn for an hour trying to get the hens to come his way so he could feed them some fresh corn kernels. How darling he looked in his denim overalls with the sun shining through his golden curls, standing in the dirt beckoning his feathered friends. Every once in a while they'd dare closer, but making eye contact with such a creature sent them running the other direction.

"Timmy, Timmy" called little Emily, sitting over on the porch swinging. She had been assigned by her mom to keep an eye on her little brother. She was enjoying the summer breeze while reading her latest novel, and keeping a watchful eye on her brother. It was not too difficult to read a few pages and then look up to see her little brother still squating by the barn calling to the chickens.

"Emily, Emily, where is Timmy?" called her mom from the kitchen. She looked up from her book, realizing she had just read a chapter, and little Timmy was gone. She hopped up from the swing with such force, it flung back and hit the house wall. "Sorry" she said aloud to no one at all.

"He is right over by the barn." she called back to her mom, really not knowing exactly where he had wandered off too. "He had been playing for the last hour, I guess he probably got bored, he couldn't have wandered too far " she told her self.

Running down the porch steps, through the grass, towards the barn she went. She found the hens nibbling on the corn, but didn't see little Tim. She stood on the dirt and gave the yard a 360 glance. Saying a little prayer in her mind, she looked around again. Then she noticed the hen house door closed. She walked towards it, pushed it open and there she saw him.

"Mom Mom come quick" she called. "Bring the camera."

The One that got away.

2008-06-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

"If only today were a Federal Holiday then I wouldn't have to be out delivery bills and trash mail to these people" thought Dan as he drove down the ice packed freezing roads of Maine. He thought about how the people of this little town, will not even step outside this snowy, below zero day. Would they miss the mail if he went home? He could just turn down the road to his warm house, sit by the fire for a little while, as he thaws out. maybe he'd even read a book.

He was putting mail in the boxes just down the street from his house. Oh the temptation was killing him, as his wool gloved hands put the last of the mail in the boxes. No one would know if he took a break. He looked down at his watch. It read ten fifty. Justifiable lunch time? Yeah he thought so. Closing the last box, he took off with a grin.

Down the road he drove, slipping a little. Pulling into the driveway he noticed the smoke coming from his red brick chimney. Oh the thought of just sitting by the fire, warmed him from head to toe. He put the red truck into park, stepped out getting a firm grounding, then shut the door as fast and quiet as possible.

Crunching across the snow and ice, he headed quickly towards the front door. His family typically used the back kitchen door, so he thought he might be able to sneak passed his children and wife, allowing him a nice little break and a quiet little moment by the fire.

As soon as he opened the door, as if the flood gates had been lifted his children came scrambling from the family room to the front entry way and wrapped their arms around his legs, while screaming "daddy daddy, daddy is home." Maybe his little break wouldn't be a break after all.

Winter Scene

2008-06-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

Paper Clip

2008-06-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

Depot

2008-05-12T08:00:00.001-07:00

Every winter at the end of semester break, Sharon eagerly awaited the opportunity to hop on a train to head back home for a much needed rest. With finals over and another semester behind her, she feels as though life is quickly passing her by, yet at the same time just not going fast enough, is that really possible?

What a feeling it is to go from a super fast passed city to a much more surreal tranquil old town where everyone literally knows her. As she sits on the train today watching the snow hit the windows she notices the barren trees getting dressed all in white. There is no noise other than the whooshing of the train, it is almost an eerie peace. Before too long the weather has blanketed the train in white, leaving it impossible to see out the windows; perfect time for a nap.

Sleep is hard to come. Her mind still agonizing over chemistry facts mixed with Russian vocabulary. What a grueling semester! She begins to snicker at the thoughts of her roommates and the silly things they accomplished, like dressing up in their most formal dresses and heading over to McDonalds for a bite to eat. Everyone stared at them wondering why four young gals dressed to the nines in long flowing gowns at noon chose to feast at the local fast food joint.

"Next stop Freemont, be prepared to deboard the train." The announcer interrupts her thoughts. She quickly gathers up her sweaters, and checks below her seat to be sure she didn't drop anything. As she stands up she bundles herself in her scarf and sweaters, and then her jacket. She steps off the train, two suitcases in hand and a purse over her shoulder, to only see the depot, a beautifully restored Victorian building older than her great grandmother, in stark whiteness against the black sky and empty of any living thing. How was she to get home?

Lemons

2008-04-21T11:00:00.002-07:00

They say when life gives you lemons make lemonade.
I say when life gives you lemons, take out the seeds and plant them.
Then juice them and make your lemonade.
But you can't just juice lemons and make lemonade. No because if you do then you will just have lemon juice which is still tart and bitter. You need water and sugar, to make a lemonade.
So when life gives you lemons, in order to make lemonade you have to come up with some water and sugar? Where do you get that??

I think your sugar is your attitude. How sweet your lemonade is depends on your amount of sugar. Our attitude makes our lives better. Many times we can't choose how many lemons or what kind of lemons we get, but how we deal with them the better our lemonade turns out.

And as for the water, I think that is the time in which we have to make the lemonade. You know life gives us our lemons and we wonder for how long will we have to hold on to them. They are not fun at first, and as we make the lemonade the lesser amount of water, the stronger the lemon taste is. The more water we add the less strong the lemon taste is.

So is it in life, the first time trials hit us, they are strong and bitter. But with time and the right attitude the sweeter the trials become.

Discovered

2008-04-21T11:00:00.001-07:00

The setting sun drew the day to an end. Farmer Ted had only a few more precious moments to dig holes to plant the seeds, to be in the ground in time for the proper growing season. Only one more hole to go. As he knelt on the ground, he wiped the sweat from his brow. The temperatures were cold but the work was hard. The tiny shovel dug into the brown soil, suddenly coming to an abrupt stop. Ted heard the clanking of metal. What could it be?

He dug around and pulled out a dirt covered little something. Grabbing the corner of his plaid shirt he brushed the soil to discover a cast iron toy tractor. Where did this come from?

Twelve years back Ted had purchased this land from a very old lady who had been born on this land. She had no children. How old could this tractor be?

Sorry, I hit a writers wall...

The Malt Shop

2008-04-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

Sun shining, kids smiling this was going to be a summer to remember. Ramona just finished her 8th grade year and about to turn 14. This summer she had no cares, other than the swim team that met each morning at 8 am to practice for an hour. Being of such a young age she didn't have to work, occasionally she'd babysit for the neighbors. She felt care free and ready to face the joys of summer vacation.

Her best friend Linda lived several doors down the street. Basset Street, lined with old shade trees and white picket fences, was a quiet one other than the occasional neighborhood kids riding their bikes or playing ball in the street.

Ramona left her house one morning a little tired and hot after a hard work out. She called to her mother as she shut the door "Bye Mom, I'm off to Linda's we will be back after awhile."
Her mom began to reply but Ramona couldn't hear her through the thick wooden door. She ran down the few porch steps, not noticing the beautifully blooming flowers that lined the walk way. However her eye caught a stick on the side walk which she quickly picked up. With stick in hand she skipped, well that is too juvenile for a 14 year old, so she strolled down the street, pegging the fence post with the stick.

As quickly as her feet stopped, her heart skipped a beat, for she saw Steven Johnson all decked out in his white uniform stepping into his convertible Ford Mustang. Oh he is so hot she thought to herself. She had a hard time not staring at the sixteen year old with gorgeous soft hazel eyes, and perfectly trimmed brown hair. Out of the corner of Steven's eye he saw little Ramona and gave her a great smile and a wave. Her cheeks quickly flushed as she waved hi and added a little speed to her stroll.

Tail lights were far down the street as she knocked on Linda's door. Though she was standing on the porch her mind was far off in Puppy Love Land. The door opened and Linda asked "Are you ok, your cheeks are all red?" Ramona still day dreaming of her encounter... .

'would you like a ride? I'm headed over to the Malt Shop for work.' Steven offered.
"Oh I'd love to. Thank you so much."she replied, not realizing the words actually came out of her mouth.

"What did you say? You'd love to what?" asked Linda bewildered at her friends response.

"Oh...oh sorry. I was just thinking, we should go down town to the Malt Shop and get a shake or something."

"Great, I'll just tell my mom."

Snickers, Hot Dog Buns and Ramen

2008-04-14T06:19:00.000-07:00

The sounds of the toilet flushing and the water running in the shower told me it was morning, time to get out of bed. The sun hadn't been a part of this "time to get up" because it still was hiding itself for another 30 minutes. The crisp cold air warned of a cool spring day and begged me to stay under covers. "I can do this", I told myself, referring to getting out of bed. Staring up at me from the floor, my jogging shoes whispered "let's go for a run, come on, come on." I quieted the beckoning by throwing my pillow on top of them. It just wasn't going to happen today. I mean I could barely drag my butt out of bed.

Late last night I received a call that I knew was going to come. A call that didn't bring a smile to my face, a message of despair rather than hope. My grandmother of 92 years had a massive heart attack and stroke. After a minor surgery to try to repair things, they found a leak in her arteries and there is not much more time on earth for her. She is 92. She has lived a good life. A widow of 7 years, it is time for her to return to her Heavenly home, but I am not ready to send her. But sometime this week I am sure I will be saying my final goodbyes. Something that is comforting and heartbreaking at the same time, is that possible? But with this weighing heavy on my heart as well as thinking about the house selling and Eric's job, lets just say, I had a hard time falling asleep. Once I did it was interrupted several times by a wayward child, a crying baby and a snoring husband.

So while laying in bed this morning, knowing that I must get started on the day, I only begged for a few more minutes. But Timmy, who had been crying since the sounds of flooding water flowed through the wall, chose a different path for me. With my eyes half open I felt my way to his crib, and climbed back into the covers. I tempted to nurse him in bed with me under the nice warm bedding. That worked for a bit. Seeing that I couldn't nurse him all day in bed, and that he wanted to crawl all over his finally sleeping sisters, I grabbed him and hopped out of my warm blankets.

Oh time to start the day. Eric woke up Gregory and had him out the door for school before I could wipe all the sleep from my eyes. The fortunate thing was it was just me and Timmy for the time being.

I searched high and low in the kitchen for food, as if I were a teenager unsure of what groceries her mom had bought over the weekend. Which in our case, there was no grocery shopping over the weekend other than a few items for Gregory's birthday party on Saturday. Did I mention yet it was Monday? Yeah so its Monday morning. Typically we do a good grocery shop on Saturday but we hadn't. But deep in the freezer I found a Snickers bar. Nuts, milk chocolate, that creamy layer has to be somewhat good for you. As I go to take my first bite, Timmy reached out for some. What kind of mom would I be if I fed him a Snickers bar for breakfast, and give him nuts before he is a year? That would not be good. So I grabbed the next closest thing, a hot dog bun. It was there, quick and best of all he could hold it and feed himself.

With the girls still sleeping, mind you it is rare that they sleep this long I mean I think it was 7:15 am. I decided to enjoy my chocolate fat filling breakfast while watching the Morning Show. Timmy crawled around the nicely folded by his dad at 5 am clothes, and left a trail of bun crumbs, which I will need to vacuum at some point during the day because heaven forbid someone might call to look at the house. While close to my last bite I heard little foot steps coming down the stairs, and afraid of getting caught eating my nutritious breakfast, I shoved the last bit into my mouth.

I attempted to say good morning to Emily without chocolate and nuts flying out of my mouth, not very easily done. She missed the spray of Snickers and asked for some cereal. I can do that, I thought. Cereal for breakfast that is easy enough, that's up to my speed.

But no sooner did I fix her cereal did Bethany come down stairs. After a morning hug and some loves, which she so desperately needed this morning. She whispered, "I want eggs." I quickly replied, "not this morning." I just wasn't in the mood for eggs. She didn't do her typically arching of her back whining and pleading for eggs dance, instead she said "ok how about some Ramen?" After I said "no." I said "Ok, that's fine." Well actually after she asked for the ramen and I said no, she looked in the freezer and asked "where is the candy that you gave to Emily that she gave to me, that Dad put in the freezer?" I replied "I have no idea, how about some Ramen?" Since she had already asked for it, it was an accepted offer. She peacefully took it and ate it.

2008-04-14T06:03:00.001-07:00

I am alone.
I feel so afraid.
I am scared.
I am cold.
I feel frightened.
I am not ready.
I am willing.
I'm not courageous.
It's disheartening
It is gloomy.
It is clean.
The thought is dreadful
The light is bright
My feelings are unsure.
The future is daunting.
Hope is near.
Faith is to be found.
I am heard.
Prayer is near.

This is my life.

High Dive

2008-04-11T08:52:00.001-07:00

"Come on Johnny you can do it." cheered the crowd below. But poor Johnny Jones hunched on his knees, holding on to the end of the board for dear life, peering over at the 14 foot drop was terrified of the drop he thought he could make.

"You can do it!"

"Stand up and just jump!"

"Chicken."

"Don't be afraid!"

His friends calling and cheering him on the best they could. Panic stricken legs no longer able to bring his weight to a standing ready to jump position.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sammy with her long blond hair pulled tight in the most perfect ponytail, sun glistening off the top of it.

"Scaredy Cat!"

"Come on we don't have all day!"

With out much thought, his legs straightened, his hands let go, his feet pushed and off he went.
"Splash" straight in the water.

Everyone cheered as his head popped out of the water. Swimming to the side, he peered around to see that Sammy had not even been watching. Bummer he thought, oh well it was fun at least.

Painting

2008-04-09T09:04:00.001-07:00

One more stroke,
and I shall be done.
The finished project,
oh such a one.
I never knew that the
beauty he created for me,
would be one I could paint
for all to see.

Such bright shining light,
from our beckoning sun,
to clear the dark cold night,
another wonderful day begun.

Purples, reds, greens and blues
and many other wonderful hues.
Beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder,
surrounding our very nature could not be bolder.
(I tried to hard to get a rhyme )

I stink at poetry, and started to write about the artist finishing this painting and for some reason a poem popped out. I should leave poetry to Brenda and Michele.

$5 bill

2008-04-09T09:03:00.001-07:00

I never have cash with me, I usually use my debit card, but today of all days I had cash. The cashier rung up my groceries and told me the total, "25.01". As I handed him my $10 adn $20 bills, I searched through my coin purse for a penny, 'there has to be a penny amongst all these coins.' The cashier must have notice me frantically diving through my wallet, that he just handed me the $5 bill and receipt and said "Don't worry about the cent" as he pulled a penny from his pocket and put it in the register. I smiled to him as I grabbed my grocery cart, kids sitting quietly, not asking for a thing, and said "thank you" as I walked out the door. I thought to myself, 'wow this is going to be my lucky day. It feels more like St. Patrick's Day than April Fool's Day.'

The kids buckled up and I put the groceries in the car, and we headed on our way home, to meet our friends for a play date.

It was such a gorgeous sunny spring day that we packed a picnic lunch and walked over to the park. Not soon after being at the park the kids all decided they were done and wanted to go back home. We encouraged them to play different things, like who could run the fastest up the stairs and down the slide, or who could balance the longest across the little fence. Being only 5 they grew tired of our challenges and we gave in to take them home. Actually it was a good thing. See in Texas the weather likes to change in an instant. It went from 89 down to 69 in about two minutes flat, and the wind picked up and we were getting chilled.

After we got home warmed up, it was time to pick up the brother from school. This is always a fun thing, you know kids crying because they want to walk, or because they want to be pushed in a stroller. Or sometimes we have to wake one up from their much needed nap, to only arrive at school to a crying first grader because his mom told him no friends after school. I was just tired, and didn't feel like watching the neighbor kids today. I mean can't a mom just enjoy her own kids after school? Something a six year old just can't wrap his brain around.

Well we make it home, and almost everyone is done crying. The kids decided it is a good time to eat Popsicles out on the tramp and I decided its a great time to veg in front of the computer. Then I remember what I had gone shopping for earlier, my special surprise Fauxberry Pie for dinner. So I run down stairs, to make it. Boy did it flop. I think I beat the potatoes too long.

The dinner was not a hit, I guess they didn't fall for the "we're having raspberry chocolate pie for dinner" because the firsts bites were followed by "this is gross!" and "I don't like this, I want Ramen." Now it would not have been such a big deal had that not done the same thing about dinner the night before.

Being one that doesn't do well with finickiness, I tell them. "Fine don't eat it. Fix your own dinner. And don't expect me to fix you dinner again!" I got up, put my dish in the sink and went up stairs to ignore they pleads and whines for something different. They survived and fixed themselves some Ramen Noodles. See it was ok. Well the kitchen was a mess, thank heavens no one called to see the house.

Because, while I was in hiding, the kids found me. They joined me and thought it would be a great time to throw things down the stairs. In one of those throws my poor son's head met a flying metal pipe, that "accidentally" slipped out of Bethany's hands down the stairs, where it bounced off a step and popped up pegging Gregory in the back of the head.

Well so much for good luck, because that little accident cost us $100 in the ER for two little staples in the back of his head. I guess though I am lucky that it wasn't worse.

MoPed MoPed

2008-04-09T09:02:00.001-07:00

MoPed MoPed what do you see?
I see I little lady coming to me.

Little Lady, Little Lady what do you see?
I see some spring flowers looking at me.

Spring Flowers, Spring Flowers what do you see?
I see a black road staring back up at me.

Black road, black road what do you see?
I see a pink MoPed riding on me.

Pink MoPed, Pink MoPed, what do you see?
I see the whole world right in front of me.

(Remember that your freewrite may tak

Woodsworth qoutes

2008-04-09T09:01:00.001-07:00

"To begin, begin." the professor stated as he spoke openly about the best way one can write. "You will never know if you are a writer or not if you don't just begin to write. Let the thoughts flow from your mind to your pen, or your keyboard as y'all write today." I sat in my desk, looking around at the other students, seemingly much younger than I. What was I thinking, taking a creative writing class after all these years. My youngest just started kindergarten and I have a little more free time to do those things I always dreamed of doing. But really, I thought, noticing the girl in front of me with her low rise jeans and her tramp stamp showing. What do I have to offer to this class? Me a mother of five, just barely realizing that I don't have to wipe a nose for several hours. "Ok stop thinking about this, enjoy this time." I told myself as I noticed my mind wandering on why I was here, who was around me, more than what the professor was saying. I looked at him with is full gray beard, trimmed ever so distinquished, standing before these fifty or so students, wondering what style of writer he was, probably not very neat I thought as I noticed his shirt wasn't very well ironed. Maybe he just has a lazy wife like me. Alright I will listen. He continued."Every great and original writer, in proportion as he is great and original, must himself create the taste by which he is to be relished." Now if that was ever a mouth full, speaking of mouth full, a foot long hot dog with lots of mustard, ketchup and relish sounds good about now. I guess I shouldn't have taken a noon hour class. OK, HELLOO, listen to the lecture! Now I know why my children have a hard time with school. I mean here I am an adult, taking a class for pleasure and I am day dreaming about getting a hot dog at the local gas station?? "Your first assignment is to free write whatever you want about..."

The Tub

2008-04-09T09:00:00.002-07:00

Splish Splash I was taking a bath, all around a Saturday Night, oh wait that has already been written but I think I have the words wrong.

All I can say today is that looks like a fun bathroom.
And I really want to take a tub.
I am tired.
Its 3 am.
I feel hot and sweaty.
Timmy is up for the third time.
Oh I'd love to grab a book.
Fill that tub with hot water.
Maybe add a bottle of salts.
While I am at it, another bottle of bubbles.
Fill a glass with ice water.
Grab my favorite book.
I don't have a favorite book.
Ok grab a novel.
Turn off the phone.
Well hopefully no one calls at 3 AM.
Get in the tub.
And sleep. Did I say sleep.
I meant read.
I think I need to go to sleep.
And dream about this tub.

Excuses- Please don't give them to me

2008-04-09T09:00:00.001-07:00

Oh the big E word! I really could go on for days about excuses! Really! I just was talking to a friend about them. I can't stand excuses. There are really no reason for them. Before you jump down my throat about this but really, there is no need. I think if you can't do something, just say "I can't" And that really should be good enough. There really shouldn't be a "I'd love to help you out but my dog just ate a box of rat poison and I have to run to the hospital!" Well ok maybe people need to hear some of those excuses.

I guess the thing that bugs me about excuses is when people excuse themselves from doing almost everything because they feel their life is harder than anyone elses? Maybe that is n't it either. Maybe I need to find some example to express what it is about excuses that really bug me.

For example, I had been up all night with my new born, had another sick child, husband was out of town. I was tired to say the least. I was suppose to meet with a friend. She had been up until heave forbid midnight most likely drinking with her husband, and only got to sleep until 8 am because her two kids woke up too early, so she couldn't go and do the thing we had planned because she was just too tired! Hello please don't talk to me about tired! I mean I understand. I am sorry you are tired...but don't you think I am too?? But does that stop me from following through on a commitment??

Ok and another thing, I don't know about you, but maybe I have the martyr syndrome and just go about and do things, but really I think we could come up with excuses to get out of everything in life you know?

I am not guiltless of using excuses either, I know I pull the "I'm just not feeling well" card a lot. When I get stressed I physically get ill. Especially when I know I have to be in front of people or in a crowd, my anxiety takes over me. So I have to excuse myself from going to these places. But maybe I'd do better if I got over my excuses and just got up and went.

Saturdays my husband likes to go out and do stuff, and usually it means with all the kids and half the city. I literally come home so exhausted and sick from the caos. But I try and do my best to spend time with my family.

Anyway, at some point I think excuses should be left by the wayside and we should be just wiling to live our life's, and serve...

that was so random and now I will jump off my mixed up soap box!

Corrine Simonsen

Pushing

2008-03-31T06:24:00.000-07:00

"You just keep pushing. You just keep pushing. I made every mistake that could be made. But I just kept pushing." was her answer to her children as they interviewed her.

It's hard to believe that 90 years have passed and she was still kicking. Life comes and goes so fast, and yet some days seem so long.

As her children probed her memories came flooding faster than her tongue could process them. One thing stuck out in her mind more than anything, the time her children were young and her husband traveled. She thought of that period with fondness and trepidation.

"Every day I woke up wondering how I was going to face the day of changing three different diapered kids, get an older off to school, get the house cleaned up and food on the table. Many days I would cry in bed before braving the cold brisk morning air. I never woke to my own accord, it usually was one of y'all that crept into bed, or cried for me from downstairs because you were starving and needed some breakfast. I often responded with the fact that you knew where the food was and to get it yourself. I wasn't the most patient mother and y'all were quick to remind me of it.

"One morning I had had it, I was just about to curl back in the covers, lock my bedroom door and call it a day. I figured I had yelled at you enough that morning. It started when little Mikey woke up at 5 am screaming with what was yet another ear infection. As I tried to comfort him, Katie, woke up and came crying into my room, and I just wasn't sure what she wanted. Then up woke the other two and started demanding who knows what. I regrettably snapped and yelled at the bunch of you, because sleep is so precious to me. But you, Tom, reminded me that y'all were more precious than my sleep.

"You turned to me, after we were all crying, and said to me 'Mom, I miss Dad too, and I am sorry we woke you up.' Very simple words that just touched my heart. I hugged each of you and apologized as quickly as I could. Letting you know that I too loved you very much.

"As I look back at your younger years, as I look at you raising your kids and my grandkids raising their kids. Part of me aches for those days. Those days that seemed to move like I was walking in mud up to my knees. The days where I was just pushing to get through it. I envy young mothers, and the awesome responsibility they have. The fun that they get to have to watch as their young ones see a butterfly for the first time, or take their first step. Sometimes I got caught up in the daily grind, and missed the beauty of it all.?

Special Moment

2008-02-20T18:23:00.000-08:00

As I sat watching my kids play together, laughing, teasing and enjoying each other's company, I thought to myself "it doesn't get much better than this."

Life has so many ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like some days, weeks or even years, are in the downs. But nothing makes life feel like the ups than just those tender sweet moments, when your child looks at you and says "I love you." or just comes and climbs in your lap and gives you a kiss and just wants to sit there with you.

The special moments in life sometimes may feel far and few between but if you look closely you can see that daily there are those moments. Moments to be captured in time, stored in our minds, to get us through the not so wonderful moments.

Hospital Stay

2008-02-20T18:21:00.001-08:00

It had been a long 7 weeks since the birth of her sweet son. Having him was such a blessing but what was happening to her didn't feel like much of a heaven send at all.

As she thought back on his birth she was reminded that there was no labor involved in his birth, just a scheduled routine c-section. Though because of her past spinal blocks, it was very difficult to give her a spinal this time around. Scar tissue encircled the scar like sharks around a bleeding fish. After what seemed like forever the blue baby was born with his cord wrapped several times around him, as well as sporting two true knots. It was a miracle to hear him finally cry after getting some oxygen. Tears filled her eyes as she thought about this tiny infant in her arms, just as they had the first day she held him.

Why was she so sick? During her hospital stay after his birth, her incision became infected, blistered and a show stopper for all the nurses on the 4th floor who had to check it out. It took awhile for them to figure out that it was the sterie strips burning her sensitive skin. Once they were removed much relief was felt. But then her blood pressure began to rise and not even meds or laying on her side could control it. The doctors suggested she stay another day.

I am so glad to be home she thought as she looked at her newborn infant of just 7 weeks. Though she felt overly tired, exhausted and unsure of why she had another rash. When her son was just 2 weeks old she had broken out in another rash and ended up on steroids. She began to feel better, though her little infant thought that people stayed awake from 10 pm until 5 am, allowing her little to no sleep at all. No wonder she was so worn down she thought, I haven't slept for six weeks. Probably why when he was 4 weeks old she got a fever and sore throat.

"I just need to sleep" she thought as she held her little man in her arms, staring at his sweet and tiny features. Her six week check up had come and gone. But she had another appointment to get some birth control.

She had been overly anxious to go in to the doctor to get an IUD, she was a little apprehensive about the procedure yet very excited to know another one wouldn't be coming for a long while. She had every reason to be worried about the IUD, for some reason she bleed a lot, so much that the nurse had to get a blood clean up kit and she filled several pads in an hour. Luckily she was able to stay in the office and the bleeding got under control.

The next morning when she woke up, she discovered that her body once again was having an allergic reaction. "You got to be kidding me! I am probably allergic to the IUD!" she said aloud to herself. She called the OB and because she was 7 weeks postpartum they told her to call her primary physician. Being overly tired, emotional she broke down in tears. "What am I suppose to do?" she thought. She called her husband in tears and he called a doctor friend who told him to send his wife over.

"I don't know what to tell you about this rash, other than it appears to be systemic and possibly toxic shock. Who is your OB? Why wouldn't they see you? Who perscribed you Zoloft? You got an IUD yesterday? Oh I am so mad!" the doctor uttered as she spoke to the poor new mother. The doctor walked out of the room, called the OB, and sent the teared mother to their office.

"We're sorry we just don't know what to do about a rash. Oh you have a fever too?? We are just so unsure." was the response she got from the OB's office.

This was all on a Friday. Then Sunday, she couldn't get the strength to go to church instead she rested at home. Even her little newborn left for the four hours. As she was enjoying the silence and rest, the thought came to her. "You were really sick a few weeks ago with high fever, sore throat and you could have had strep and could now have scarlet fever?" She quickly went to the computer and googled scarlet fever. Sure enough her tongue her rash looked just like the pictures.

She called her husband to tell him her findings, to find out that their doctor friend who happened to go to their same church, was on her way over already to see how she was doing. She thought the scarlet fever sounded about right and that she should go get a strep test in the morning.

As a reluctant patient but one willing to get better, she went to the doctor and get a strep test. It was positive. Antibiotics were perscribed and she was sent home.

Knowing she needed lots of help the Relief Society President had called her to see if she could come by the next day and watch the kids for her. She was happy to have the help. Little did she know it was a scheduled blessing amist her not so blessed life.

She pleaded that her husband not go to work and stay home with her but he was unable to fullfill her wishes. Her friend called to offer to take the kids, but the RS pres was on her way over. She actually called and told her she would be there in about 15 minutes. She told her friend, not to worry about it. She was feeling light headed and dizzy and weaker than she had felt in a long time. She hung up the phone and crashed on the floor, to wake up to her two year old's tear streaked face, pulling away her mommy's hair crying "mommy, mommy."

With as much strength as she could muster she whispered to her son to come down stairs, amazingly he came quickly. He and his mom reassured the four year old that mom wasn't dead. The son grabbed the phone called Dad and told him to come home. Then called the neighbor to tell her that Mom had passed out and was laying on the floor. At that moment the RS President walked in the door.

The young mom was rushed to the ER to be sent back to the doctor's office she had visited the day before to only be sent back to the ER. Eight days, many tests, lots of blood drawn later, she came home. To realize it was going to be a long road ahead to recovery.

3 days have passed and the Path

2008-02-15T04:28:00.000-08:00

Three days have passed since that fateful spring day. Sally had been taking a leisure walk along the dirt path through Madison Gardens. Her thoughts were on the blooming flowers and the lush green landscape. Bees were sipping sweet nectar from the blossoms. All around birds flew by stopping for brief moments on the tree branches to breathe in the fresh spring air before flying off to find more worms for their babies. She was in awe of such beauty and unaware of what lay before her on this path.

Through the sounds of chirping, buzzing,and the wind whispering, she heard footsteps approaching at a steady jogging pace. Up ahead of her was a bench nestled between two blossoming apricot trees, she thought that would be a great place to stop, rest and let the jogger pass her. While walking towards the bench she attempted to pull her water bottle out of her already too full bag, why did she always take that much stuff with her? As she pulled the plastic bottle out, a tampon and her keys fell out of her purse hitting the dirt path. She quickly attempted to bend over to recover her items.

The jogger with his head set on, admiring the beauty of his surroundings, didn't see Sally stopping. Before either of them knew it, he was tripping over the top of her, knocking her bag and items further across the park, landing flat on his face. What a first way to meet!

"Oh I am so sorry." he replied as he brushed the sand off his palms and knees. "Are you okay? I didn't see you stop. Here let me help you up." He said as he reached for her hand, as she was trying to gather and hide some of her unmentionables from her bag.

She reached for his hand, their eyes locked for but a brief moment. She embarrassedly and quietly said "Thank you. I am so sorry too."

Together they gathered the scattered items, running after a few fly away receipts. Sally rounding up as much as she could and quickly shoving it back into its original unorganized mess.

"I am Steve."

"Nice to meet you, I am Sally. So you come here often?" She replied with a little nervous chuckle, as he awkwardly handed her the feminine protection stick.

Paul Potts

2008-02-12T10:03:00.000-08:00

Poor Pauly Potts performing proudly before people,
ponders possibilities of phame.

Sweet Sally Sue sat staring at the star as songs soared,
swiftly, softly, stunningly from the not so studly man.

Generous George Gunnyon gazed and gaawed at the Giant,
his ears glued to each gently hummed tune.

Curious Corrine Covington couldn't quite conceal,
her gasp of contentment.

Fable

2008-02-12T09:14:00.000-08:00

There once was a boy named James who had two wonderful parents who loved him dearly. James lived near the edge of town in a small cottage with a straw roof. His family worked on a dairy farm owned by their neighbors.

One day his mother, who was sick in bed, gave him $5.00, because back where James lived $5.00 went a long way, to go and buy the family some groceries. James was excited with the chance to run an errand for his mom and be the dependable guy she expected him to be. He replayed her words in his mind, "Go straight to the store, do not stop for anything, buy only what is on the list and hurry home."

He hopped on his bike, flung his sac over his shoulder and began peddling as fast as he could. He thought about his up coming summer vacation as he began his six mile journey. Riding down the dirt road, with the dust flying behind, he saw something up ahead. From where he was it just seemed to be a black blob. His little legs peddled as fast as they could to reach the road obstruction. The closer he got the more he realized what lay before him. It was a herd of cattle.

In the middle of the cattle was a young calf that could not get up and walk. His mom's voice rang in his ear "don't stop for anything." But he knew that stopping right now would meet his mother's approval. He quickly turned around, road his bike back half a mile and turned down this side dirt driveway to Farmer Ted's house. He quickly dismounted his bike and ran to the front door. After several rapid knocks, Mr. Ted Smith answered the door.

"What can I do for you James."

"One of your calves is in the middle of the road, he appears hurt."

"Thank you James!." Mr. Smith said as he grabbed his keys off the side table and shut the door behind him.

"Throw your bike in the back of my truck and I'll give you a ride up the road."

"Thanks," replied James as he threw is bicycle in the truck bed, "I am in kind of a hurry my mom is sick and I need to do some errands for her."

They quickly reached the herd of cattle. Both of them stepped out of the truck. Mr. Smith headed straight to the injured calf, and James grabbed his bike. As James peddled off, Mr. Smith scooped up the young cow and put him in the back of his truck. He herded his cattle back behind the fence.

James now back on track and not too far off from his time schedule began to slow his feet, as he started on paved roads. Cautiously he watched for cars and trucks on the highway, though they were far and few in between they were fast.

He heard a car far behind him so he moved closer off the shoulder. When the car sounds came closer, they began to slow down. The car was driving at an almost stand still as it pulled in front of the young lad, and came to a stop. A little old gray haired lady, rolled down the window and beckoned James to her. That is when he noticed that her back tire had gone flat.

"Can you please help me young man? I must of hit a nail back there or something. My frail hands are not strong enough to change out my tire. Do you mind helping me?" Before he could let her know he really was in a hurry, he blurted out "Yes, Ma'am I'd be more than happy to help you."

15 minutes later, he tightened the last lug nut and wiped his greasy hands on his shirt. The lady graciously thanked him and offered him a $1 for his trouble. Even though money was tight, he refused her offer and told her it was his pleasure. He peddled off and thoughts of what he could have done with his money flooded his brain. "Why didn't I take the money?" he thought to himself.

Finally he arrived at the store. While pulling the shopping list out of his pocket he walked through the self opening doors. Milk, bread, eggs, apples and ice cream were on the list. He chuckled at the list, thinking about the fact that they lived next to a dairy farm and they had to buy milk. They also had an orchard of apple trees in the back but those were a few months off from producing fruit.

He grabbed a cart, walked down the aisles and tossed the necessary items in the basket. He approached the check out stand, to see three people in line before him. He looked down at his wrist to see that he was expected to be home in five minutes. "hurry hurry...why don't they have more than one check out stand. I am going to be late and my mom is going to be worried."

He placed his items on the black moving belt. Ching. Ching. Ching. Ching. Ching. "$4.95" the cashier said. James took the change and bills out of his pocket, while counting it out he placed it in the out reached worker's hand.

As quickly as possible he left the store, already a few minutes late, and unlocked his bike. As he rode out of the lot, he saw Farmer Ted's truck.

"Hey James, I put the calf in the barn and remembered you saying you were in a hurry, so I thought I'd catch up with you and see if you need a ride."

A big smile marked James face as he hoped into the truck. "Thank you so much! My mom worries if I am just a minute late, and now I am running on 7!"

"I'll get you home. And while I have you hear I have a question for you. Would you like to earn some money this summer by helping me out on my farm? I spoke with your parents and they said that I'd have to ask you but that they were ok with it."

"That will be great" James said as they drove down the dirt road.

The day turned out to be a good one, James thought as he opened the door to the cottage.

"I am home Mom! Mom?"

Chain Reaction

2008-02-07T13:40:00.000-08:00

If you give a mother a night out, she will have to call a babysitter.
If she gets a babysitter to come over she will have to clean up the house.
If she has to clean up the house she will end up getting all sweaty and dirty.
If she gets all dirty she will have to take a shower.
If she takes a shower, she will notice the extra mold growing in the corners.
If she notices the mold, she will take a lot longer in the shower to get it all cleaned.
If she spends extra time in the shower, her husband will grow irritated at the fact that they will be late.
If her husband is all irritated she will not want to go out on a date.
If she doesn't want to go out on a date, she will never get a chance to leave her house.
If she never gets a chance to leave the house, she will never have to call a babysitter.
If she never has to get a babysitter, she will not feel obligated to clean up the house.
If she doesn't have to clean the house, she may just want to stay home in bed and forget her night out.

prompt no image available

2008-02-07T13:37:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if this was the intention but what I got was a "Image Not Available" and it sparked in me the idea that sometimes in life, well always in life we don't see the future, there isn't a predestined picture of what our life will be more of what we make of it. Heavenly father knows each of us and our potential but because we chose to come to this life and were given free agency we are the ones who decide who we are going to become.

As of now there is no image set in stone of who we will become, only the idea the glimmer of hope. Each day we make the choices of what that image will end up looking like.

You know as the new year has come a long I have been thinking more and more about the little goals I will make to make me a better more productive person, like cleaning up before bed and getting things put away so that each day there is a fresh start and I have more time to do those things I want to with my kids instead of stressing over having to have a clean place, because lately I am spinning in circles. Well speaking of spinning in circles I got some beds to make and laundry to put away!

me an author???

2008-02-07T13:36:00.000-08:00

I'm Flattered...me an author?!

I really truly appreciate the comments to me about me being a great writer and how I should publish a book. I'm rather shocked, surprised and flattered, so much so I fell off my chair, flipped right back onto the ground, feet in the air!

Well it has been a life long dream of mine, and when I was younger I'd sit on the curbs waiting for my mom to come get me, and think of stories in my head. (What was I doing sitting on curbs waiting for my mom... that's a whole other story but childhood friends, one word "The Villages." I also received encouraging comments from my English teachers when I applied myself to my papers. Also while student teaching my ever so encouraging student teaching supervisor said to me "maybe you should think of a career in writing instead of teaching. " I was hurt by his comment but maybe I should have listen to him. However, I don't foresee myself penning to a point where one would actually purchase my stories, but maybe that is my problem I need to see it to believe it. Though the comments have sparked in me a couple of things.

1. (have you notice I am totally into lists lately...not sure why but anyway) I am going to join the story circle and go to writing classes and seminars and get started pursuing something for myself.

2. I am going to make more written Heritage Makers' books for my family, including pictures and scrapbooking of course but include more journaling and text for their enjoyment...well probably not enjoyment but helpful memory reminders.

3. As of now... if you know of anyone could be yourself, I am going to help, well will turn your blog into an 8x8 storybook. So consider me the Blog to Books lady! Contact me for more information or send your friends my way. Take a year of blogging and turn it into a book. So it won't be my writings which you seem to love, but your own...I could make editorial comments :) haha...but anyway just sparked a little business idea for me. So let me give your blog a shot!

4. If I get 403 people to comment on this blog saying I should give writing a try, I will sit down and start a book, so if you think I should pursue a life long dream, and you think its worth a shot, tell your friends and their friends and lets see if I can get some comments here telling me to go for it...if I don't get the comments...I still will probably try it but will feel like no one likes me :( and I might have to go eat some worms.

The letter you'd send to your friends: (see I am helping you help me):

Dear Friends,

My dear (friend, sister, neighbor, daughter, well not my dear anything but some chick on a blog) needs your help in pursuing a life long dream. Your task, if you choose is simple. Please visit her blog, www.4kidsnodog.blogspot.com and read her post, "I'm Flattered...me an author?!- Jan 6, 2008" and just post a comment basically saying "go for it." That is all you have to do, you don't even have to read the blog if you so choose. But please leave a comment. Heck you can even say "dude its not worth the effort" but please take a few minutes, visit the blog and make a comment. It doesn't cost you a thing, just a tiny bit of your internet time. And if you so desire, browse her blog and read some of her posts, she is rather entertaining in my humble opinion. Have a good one.

Thanks,
(here is where you'd sign your name)

5. With the writers strike maybe I have a chance to move to Hollywood and do some screen writing...JK...but not a bad idea probably a good time to get in.

Why do you write?

2008-02-07T13:35:00.002-08:00

Kind of funny that this is the prompt for this morning because when I awoke at 4am the flood of why do I write came pouring through my mind. I write because it is the best way I have to communicate. I never have been very good at speaking, well I take that back, if I sit down and write out my speech or talk then i am a great speaker or teacher. On the other hand I don't do well speaking off the cuff, I need preparation. But for some reason when my hands and paper meet, the words typically form fairly easily.

When I was younger, I loved to chat on line with guys. I honestly had several swooning men wanting my hand in marriage, no I didn't profess my love to them, but I could be a lot more open and free and expressive in word on line than in person with the guys around me. Not sure why I have even thought of this chatting thing but a very good example of one thing one reason why I write.

Another reason why I love to write is because it truly helps me feel better. I have several journals filled with my words, nothing that I would really even let anyone else read, maybe my kids and grandkids but it has been a way for me to deal with anger, stress, joy and any other emotion I have felt that day...maybe that is way I have been so emotional the last 8 years...I haven't been keeping my personal journal like I used to.

I just ran into some friends when in California and the asked me if I still stayed up late journaling and I had to admit that I didn't, one reason why I started the blog after my trip. I had missed writing and realized that it is something that I need to do.

No I don't think one day my name will be plastered on the O Book Club, nor do I have goals to be a famous writer, I just want to write, and get to the point where my writings are actually ledgeable. (I really hate the red underlining spell checker thing cuz it makes me want to figure out how to spell a word like ledge able) Anyway, recently I posted a blog stating my dreams of being a writer. I do want to write and think that it is fun but honestly don't think that I am sellable. I just do it because I like it. I love the feeling of releasing my thoughts out into the open, allowing them to catch wind and take flight.

Time's up!

Shirley Jackson story starter

2008-02-07T13:35:00.001-08:00

"When Emily Johnson came home one evening to her furnished room
and found three of her handkerchiefs missing from the dresser
drawer, she was sure who had taken them and what to do."

Her personal chef Rachel, had been left alone in the house for a week, while she had traveled with her husband, Jeff, to Palm Peach for medical meetings. Rachel was a dear friend and she knew that she had her eyes on those handkerchiefs. Why would she take them, why didn't she ask? Emily began to feel guilty that she was second guessing her dear friend and employee. For Rachel knew as well as Emily did that those three handkerchiefs had been passed down to the women in her family for five generations now.

Before Emily decided to call Rachel and confront her about the missing items, she decided to take a look around, making sure nothing else was missing or disturbed. As her eyes searched her massive master suite, she noticed that the bed was made but not the neat and tidy way she had normally so perfectly liked it. Approaching the bed, she heard a scream from the other room. "Who is screaming, Rachel is at her mother's house across town, isn't she?"

Before Emily could run to check in the other room, a blind fold was placed over her head and she was being dragged out of her room against her will. In no time she was being tied to someone else sitting in the office chair. As her blind fold was removed, it revealed Rachel in tears. Emily glanced around to discover her capture. "Michael? what are you doing?" It was Emily's twin brother who had recently returned from tour in Iraq.

Michael smiled at his sister and then looked over to Rachel. Through his wide grin they could see a few missing teeth and the remainder appeared to have not seen a toothbrush in the 18 months he was gone. His five o'clock shadow was approaching on a eight a.m shadow. The ladies were curious to what could possibly going through his head and wondering what on earth he was doing. Why would he come in and take those precious family handkerchiefs? What could he possibly want with them? What did he want with the ladies. Emily couldn't sit and wonder any more.

Angry and scared Emily's voice shook as she asked him again, "Michael, what are you doing?" Before he could answer they heard a loud noise downstairs.

Boggart

2008-02-07T13:34:00.000-08:00

As I am quickly rushing through the house, grabbing loose items hoping to find their home, I hear a strange noise coming from the pantry. Ignoring the sounds I continue to gather the socks, shorts and t-shirts from the floor throwing them into the laundry basket. Up the stairs with another doll I go. Then off to the bathroom to brush my teeth, use the toliet and finally slip into bed.

After I am ready for bed, I hear the noise again. So I go into the rooms, where my three little ones rest, re-tuck them in, give them kisses and quietly shut their doors. Again there is that noise in the pantry, "do we have mice?"

I can not resist the temptation to check on the audio disturbance. So I run down the stairs, turn a light on, and head to the kitchen through the pantry door. Low and behold standing in the pantry was a 500 lbs version of me, stuffing her face with the Snickers bars that I thought I had so carefully hidden on the top shelf. She stops for a minute, stairs at me with a chocolate stained face, then continues to finish the last candy, with a lick off of each finger stip. Standing still, I carefully look her up and down wondering how I am going to get out with out being eaten alive. Our eyes make contact and I can only imagine what is going on behind them. Visions of sugar plums??

Suddenly I remember the stash of Twinkies I have hidden under my nightstand. Her stomach begins to growl and I know it is only minutes before she finds no more snacks to eat and she will only find fruits and veggies that will not satisfy her. Putting a finger in the air I try to motion to her to slow down and I will be right back.

I quickly turn, go to run out the door, hitting the door jam, falling flat on my behind. As fast as I hit the floor I was back on my feet and out the little food closet. I run through the family room, trip over that little toy dinosaur I missed on the way up to bed. I catch myself before my face hits the fingerprinted smudged coffee table. I thought getting up the stairs to my stash was going to be easier than this. Note to self, make sure the house is totally clean before bed.

I get to the second floor, turn my bedroom light on, and hear a cry. A baby, I have to nurse the baby. But the cries and moans from downstairs start to out blast the baby in my room crying. Ok baby can wait.

Night stand, where is my night stand? Its pitch black I can't see a thing. "I'm HUNGRY!" As I fumble across the night stand to find that little button, I knock the half filled cup of water all over, "Crap!" Where is that little switch, should be easy to find. Bingo. Lights on, I open the drawer to only find my stash gone! "who ate my stash?" Can I make it to the gas station before there is nothing left in my house to eat? Oh wait I have one more spot to check. I run to my closet and find some left over halloween candy on the shelf.

I run down stairs, the me beast is standing in front of the fridge, with the open door monitor beeping. Surely she is disappointed at the items she has been staring at. I yell to her, "hey you...have one of these!" I throw to her a very stale, life saver sucker.

She says thanks and disappears into the night. I look around the kitchen, dishes in the sink, food left out on the counter, crumbs all over the floor and realize that's who has been making the messes in the middle of the night, the boggart in the pantry.

Freewrite- Pea

2008-02-07T13:33:00.002-08:00

Potty humor comes easy when living with four small kids, and one large one. We're sitting at our dinner table tonight enjoying a last minute thrown together meal by me. Part of the dinner, the green part, includes sweet petite green peas, a personal favorite of Eric's. So much so, he very carefully shovels a few fork fulls onto each of his surrounding children's plates with out them noticing. Oh but I notice, shame on him. As we are finishing up this wonderful meal, consisting also of some open cans of fruit on the table, Eric asks if he can be excused from the table, I look at him a little in shock, one because he's asking me to be excused and two well he is asking to be excused. Before I can muddle out a reply Gregory says "not before I pee out of my eye." I look at him "What?"

Gregory carefully takes a pea and holds it to his eye and pops it to Eric. Well Eric can't be topped by a six year old with an inappropriate table manner, so he pops a pea in his mouth, and then starts snorting and blowing, and he "pees out a pea" from his nose, along with some other stuff, causing me to just want to get up from the table a puke.

I wish the story ends here but something about kids they kind of like to make true the saying "monkey see monkey do." So Gregory following his dad's lead, though taking a short cut, sticks a pea up his nose and then snorts it out. At this point I am totally bewildered can't think of anything to say or do.

Emily takes care of that for me. She grabs a little pea and sticks it into her tiny little nostril. She giggles and makes a little "heh" with her nose, mind you being only two she really hasn't mastered the art of nose blowing. You should have seen her little nose with the bulging little green ball clogging her narrow nostril. I give her encouraging blows from my nose, hoping she will try to blow it out her self. I know that I can not get it out by picking it because it will only lodge it further into her nasal cavity. Emily decides she's going to take her little finger and retrieve the foreign body. However, each attempt the green mass gets smaller and smaller, until we no longer see it. Great! We are gonna have to spend $100 at the ER to get it removed.

I decide to call my mother in law to thank her for her well raising of my husband, while Eric looks through the cupboards. As I explainto my mother in law the details of the evening, Eric pulls out a toothpick and gently extracts the pea. Yeah for us! Then Helga, my mother in law, tells me that Gregory asked her the other day if she taught his dad all the funny things he knows. She had to explain to him that many things he just learned on his own. I think sticking peas up his nose was one of those things he taught himself.

Though if you ask Eric it was really Gregory who taught Emily, or showed Emily how to stick the pea up her nose, because if you remember correctly Gregory literally stuck the pea in his nose, where Eric went a whole other route.

Moral of the story, one can't make their eye pee but one sure can make their nose pea.

Free Write- Sick

2008-02-07T13:33:00.001-08:00

Not that I am complaining, actually I am. I have been sick, this year has been actually a really sick year for me, well not this year but last year, well you know what I mean. But when I was really sick this past summer, so sick that they kept me in the hospital for 8 days, I didn't get to really take time off from being a mom. You know, not that Eric didn't help out, but you just can't call in sick from being a mom, who do you call? A nursing baby still needs to be nursed, a two year old crying wants their mom to console them, a sick mom can still see messes around the house, and has the urge to clean it up. Because no matter how much I ask it doesn't always get done as quickly or as efficiently as I'd like, so I end up doing it.

We have had a sick week again at our house. I just am tired of being sick and having sick kids. They actually have been relatively healthy. The girls did have croup in December over the break which started the sickness in our home. Gregory went to the doctor yesterday and has strep. Which for me is a big concern because I had the septic strep and scarlet fever this past summer. I probably need to call my doctor to get checked. Last thing we can afford is me being sick. Heavens knows that.

Eric too went to the doctor yesterday and she told him that he shouldn't go back to work and he should go home and rest. So he does. So he gets to leave work, come home and rest. Why can't I just rest? I have been not feeling great since new years eve, probably the lack of sleep. Then he got sick and he said "I am sorry if you were feeling this bad last week." I reply, "yeah wouldn't it be nice if I could rest and get better." And he commented " well your always sick."

I am not always sick, I am tired a lot and don't feel much energy. But it made me think, you know maybe I wouldn't stay sick so long if I could actually rest for a bit. Do women ever feel better?? I am so tired and exhausted and this last week have felt pretty crummy. But no one tells me to just take it easy. How can I? Five people still need to eat dinner, one child needs to be nursed, the house some how recreates messes hourly.

I am just at my wits ends today, sorry to gripe and complain, but I am. My house is in utter caos and I can't get it back into a realm of normalcy. (J. W. s are at the door, should I go answer the door with my Book of Mormon. I think Bethany wants to answer it and I am telling her not to. I bet they love hearing that outside.) Anyway, I just need my world to come together and not be scattered across the living room, and splattered all over the kitchen.

Well I better stop my griping and get to fixing my life. I just want to take a nap!